“There’s a spot,” Kevin said as he slammed the brake and wrenched the wheel to the right so he could slide up to the building. Shutting off the headlights, he rummaged around the back seat for the umbrella.

“Are you sure this is a spot?” Elaine asked as she peered through the rain streaks on the windshield. “I think you parked in front of a morgue.”

Over his shoulder, Kevin said, “Look, we’ve been driving around in this crap for twenty minutes. We’re already late.”

“We wouldn’t be late if you’d let me drive.”

“I found it, didn’t I?” Kevin snapped. “It’s just the rain messed me up, that’s all.” He turned back and resumed his search of the back seat.

“There’s a sign,” Elaine said, squinting. “I can’t read it. But I bet it says No Parking or Handicapped Parking Only.”

Kevin sank his forehead against the backseat and sighed. “This is the first spot we’ve seen and no cop is going to come by and tow us in this weather. Let’s just walk to the dinner, stay through the main course, and then we’ll leave, okay?”

“Fine,” Elaine agreed, though she didn’t sound convinced.

“Good,” Kevin said, ignoring Elaine’s hesitation. “Just as soon as I find the – found it!” he cried as he lifted the umbrella triumphantly over his head.

“All hail the conquering hero,” Elaine murmured.

“Okay, let’s go.” Kevin opened his door and swung his legs around. As he aimed the umbrella out of the car and popped the release button, he asked, “Do you want to run around and join me under here?”

“How about I wait for you while you come around and get me, Prince Valiant?”

“Wuss,” he said as he jumped to his feet and cowered under the umbrella. “Damn this rain,” he said as he fumbled his keys out of the ignition. “I can already feel the bottoms of my pant legs sticking to my skin.”

“I told you to tuck them into your boots.”

“And I told you I didn’t want to look like a dork. Hold on, I’m coming.”

Slamming the door shut, he scampered around the back of the car to the passenger side. He’d opened the door partway when he felt something brush against his shoulder.

“Get off,” he said, wiping his hand over his shoulder to get rid of the leaf or whatever it was. Something brushed his other shoulder just as he was opening the door the rest of the way. A glance at his shoulder revealed nothing. Shaking his head, he extended his hand to help Elaine out of the car.

Elaine stared at him.

“What? What’s wrong? Oh don’t tell me there’s bird crap on me; this is a new suit.”

She continued to stare at him.

No, not at him. Behind him.

Kevin turned around.

A decomposing face with one empty eye socket stared back.

“Shit!” Kevin cried and backed against the car. The thing in front of him looked like it had once been human, but large chunks of flesh had fallen away from the decaying bones, the hair had fallen out on one side, and when the thing opened its mouth a half-eaten tongue lolled around between rotting teeth. The thing raised an arm toward Kevin, who screamed, threw the umbrella at it, and jumped inside the car, shoving Elaine aside.

“Move over!” he shouted. “Give me room!”

“Get off of me!” she shouted back, struggling to free her leg from his weight. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Without replying, Kevin yanked the door behind him and jabbed at the automatic door lock. The locks clicked shut. Kevin pressed his nose against the window and peered out.

The thing outside peered back at him.

“Shit!” he exclaimed again. “It’s still out there.”

“What is it?” Elaine asked as she scanned the windshield. “What is that thing?”

“It’s like – some kind of zombie.”

“A zombie? Are you freaking kidding me?”

“Well, what would you call it? It’s dead and it’s walking. I’d call that a zombie.”

“What does it want?”

Kevin looked outside again. What was left of the thing’s lips drew back in a snarl and it began beating its fist against the top of the car with dull thuds like raw meat falling to the floor.

“It’s not selling Girl Scout cookies,” Kevin said. “Just start the car.”

“What?”

“Start the car.”

“You have the keys.”

“Oh, right.” Kevin fumbled in his pocket, feeling the cold metal on his fingertips, but as he started to pull out the key ring there came a pounding from the driver’s side. Surprised, the keys slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor. “Shit!”

“What?”

“I dropped the keys. What was that?”

“There’s another zombie.”

“What?”

“There’s another zombie on this side.”

Kevin leaned past Elaine. Sure enough, there was another creature, this one with more flesh on the face, glaring inside the car and pounding on the roof. Its mouth opened and a low, growling wail came forth.

“It’s – I think it’s trying to say something,” Elaine said.

“Yeah, it’s saying 'I want to eat your brains',” Kevin replied as he searched blindly on the floor. His hand brushed against metal. “Almost got it. If only I had a flashlight.”

As if on cue, a pair of high beams shone through the rear window. Elaine and Kevin shielded their eyes from the glare. The beating on the roof stopped.

“We’re saved!” Kevin shouted. “I bet those zombies ran off as fast as their nasty, rotting feet could carry them.”

Elaine looked out the window and said, “I don’t think so.”

Kevin peered out to find the thing staring back, hands on its angulated hips. Slowly, its right arm raised and it pointed its index finger. Kevin and Elaine looked to where it indicated.

“I don’t freaking believe it,” Kevin said in a low voice.

There was the sign, the one Elaine saw but couldn't read when they pulled in. In the glare of the headlights from the car behind them, they could now read the three words across its face:

No Live Parking.

Kevin looked back at the thing outside. Its arms were folded across its chest, head tilted as if to say, “Well?”

“Right,” Elaine said. “Kevin, find the damned keys.”

With the aid of the headlights, Kevin located the keys just under the seat and handed them to Elaine.

“Right,” she said again as she started the car and shifted to reverse, waiting for the car behind them to move out of the way. “We’re skipping the dinner,” she added. As they backed out, they both looked out Kevin’s window into the other car.

Two exasperated-looking zombies glared back at them.

“Sorry,” Kevin said and managed a little shrug.

The zombies shook their heads and drove into the spot.

As she pulled away, Elaine glanced at Kevin, who had sunken into his seat, staring straight ahead. Turning her attention back to the road, she said, “Next time, I’m driving.”

THE END

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