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The Penny Dropped (#20 Karjon's Challenge)
A lady screamed as the man suddenly dropped dead. His skull looked as if a huge caliber bullet had taken a bite - from the top of his head.
Onlookers spoke, questioning what had happened; it drew to a silence when the doors of the Empire State Building opened. Three police officers escorted two young, frightened and confused boys outside.
One looked imploringly up at the officer holding his arm, "I was just playing around. I held my hand out over the deck as a joke. I didn't mean it. The penny just dropped."
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Comment by: sarra - 2007-12-27 23:54
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| O_O |
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Comment by: smmoore - 2007-12-27 17:50
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Good story, but...let me ask a question here. The point about the gunman got me thinking. A large caliber bullet would be aided by mass (it's lead) and initial muzzle velocity (even if the gun were pointing up, by the time the bullet came back down to the level of the where the boys were, it would have that same velocity pointing down). Both the mass and velocity contribute to the momentum. It is the change of momentum upon hitting the skull that does the damage.
Now the penny is just dropped. Its initial velocity is zero. It probably weighs much less than a large caliber bullet (especially the cheap pennies they're producing today).
I haven't done the calculation (I don't know how big the bullet is -- 9 mm, 45?), but I'd wager the penny wouldn't kill you. So here's my challenge to all the EditRed readers out there: prove me wrong!
BTW, this makes you wonder why all those people in the Middle East (and elsewhere) shoot rifles upwards when they are protesting or celebrating. Except for a negligible effect from air drag, that bullet comes down just as fast as it left the muzzle of the rifle!
BTW2, I like the hyphenated version. It's raw, it's unpolished, it matches the weirdness of the event. |
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I really liked the imagery you used when describing the bullet taking a bite.
You have described the boys well, adding to the whole atmosphere of the story. I find that description the way you have used it makes the story more authentic - the boy looking 'imploringly' sounds like a comment from a bystander who saw the event. Great realism. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2007-12-09 13:07
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Ah, yes - the second death by penny to the head. It's a nice idea, and the two stories are different, so I'm not sitting here thinking, 'Oh, this plot again.'
A couple of picky points:
'A lady screamed as the man suddenly dropped dead.' - I'm not fond of 'suddenly', but that's just another of my allergies, so feel free to ignore.
' His skull looked as if a huge caliber bullet had taken a bite - from the top of his head.' I'd replace the dash with a comma. 'Huge' caliber seemed odd - 'large' would seem more natural.
'it drew to a silence' - 'it'? I know what you mean, but you'd have to change the previous sentence for it to make sense.
Thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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Comment by: jakrebs - 2007-12-06 11:36
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| Ha - the classic urban legend melded into this Wee Challenge. This is very good and I particularly liked the ending. |
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