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davidblaine
David Blaine
United States, MI, Deckerville

Words: 430
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Rhymes with Moose

Poems that rhyme, they aren’t wrong
some write them short, some write them long.
I learned to write them while quite young
the rhyming words spilled from my tongue
like raindrops off the leaves of trees
which to and fro swayed in the breeze.

I feel in this I had no choice,
to compose in this rhyming voice
the books my parents bought to read
had hooked me on this grating deed.

I learned them from those dogs that go
(I heard that they make yellow snow)
there was that fish the color blue
who swam a paper river new
and then the guy whose name was Sam
who wouldn’t eat that awful ham
I had to write a rhyme that locks
in step with box, and fox, and socks.

My heart was tied with cord or string
to break the cycle I wouldn’t.
though other authors would take a swing
somehow I thought I shouldn’t
I wished the cord was weaker, something
softer like spaghetti
I longed to write a poem of stuff like
Lawrence Ferlinghetti.

But poems that rhyme are welcome
in any high school English class
to offer something different would
take stones made of high brass
in college things were different
you could deviate convention
and have no fear your work might
cause you permanent detention

I studied Walt in tea and read the leaves to
learn my future
Emily was too busy to stop but
I read about her as well
and Frost was on the pumpkin
and Carl invited me to play in the sand
on a dune far away from the good Doctor’s
land of easy words and silly rhymes
a place of working men and shoveling things into
cool tombs.
I enjoy a good rhyme as much as I ever did
but they never made me cry tears of delight or regret
never made me boil in anger or shiver in dread
and now a days I write often in a daze and
with thought to end jams, not green hams
and what would be a good metaphor for a
man who refuses to eat puerco verde anyway?
so read all
write all
you scribes
you who are entrusted to record for the ages
what you see, feel, hear
what you taste in your lives day to day
you have a gift both to sense
and to being able to relate
those special trivial moments
that most are too busy living to notice
until their lives are too far gone
for the beauty to make any difference.

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Comments  
davidblaine Comment by: davidblaine - 2007-12-23 16:30
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It is autobiographical, that's all I can say. And the guy who is blue because he's not with you couldn't rhyme anything with spaghetti if you paid him.

Thanks for the look.
aprilmayed Comment by: aprilmayed - 2007-12-23 12:52
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Okay, okay. So you like rhyming. I know the argument that it doesn't matter how one writes...just as long as they do, but sue me! I like quality, and most poems that rhyme nowadays are giant piles of crap. Many "poets" feel that just because something rhymes, that means it's good. No, it's not. Rhyming, good rhyming, takes a lot of hard work, talent, and originality. If writers don't have what it takes to make good rhyme, they need to back away from the genre and never return! I'm so sick of hearing how "blue" someone is because they can no longer be with "you" and everything you "do." It drives me crazy. Maybe I'm a poetry snob...I don't know. I just like a little quality with my reading.

Now, on to your poem. I can appreciate what you were trying to accomplish. I must say though...when I first started reading your poem, I was like, "man...this sounds like Dr. Suess..." What do you know! That's the direction you were headed in. Ha!

Take care, David.
Harmonica Comment by: Harmonica - 2007-12-05 07:14
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GENIUS to rhyme spaghetti and I was impressed with the way the poem seemed to EVOLVE to reflect the sentiment behind it.
Not sure about the TITLE, sort of suits the lighthearted/whimsical tone, but may cheapen the content or be off-putting to potential readers.
I don't normally like poetry about the act of writing because it seems a bit redundant, but I think this had MORE to say than that. GOOD WORK - - Jim Wilson
davidblaine Comment by: davidblaine - 2007-12-05 04:23
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Thanks, both of you. Line breaks are a problem here. Yes, I could fiddle with the meter and probably will. I haven't re-visited this for a while.

One note on Carl. When he lived in Michigan, on the Lake Michigan shore, that was Dune country, so there is a double allusion there, to his name and where he lived for a time.
manoj Comment by: manoj - 2007-12-04 21:52
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enjoyed reading... nice poem.
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