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All I ever wanted.
Today you made a million pounds on Ebay.
Had 17 donkeys delivered.
They made your new puppy eternal.
Oh yes and did I mention the moon on a stick?
Pie with your name on it.
Big yellow digger.
In the garden with the lamb you got given
that eats the grass so it doesn't need cutting.
Is there?
Did I?
Oh, I'm sorry
I wasn't taking any notice.
Yes yes, I guess I am excited
quite marvellous, thank you.
Oh, I just wondered
with the stuff, did you see anyone?
Right OK, you sure he wasn't there?
Never mind, yes, I'll look through it all.
Maybe tomorrow.
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| This one seems to have the form of someone talking on the phone, and you can't hear what the other speaker is saying. You get the impression of life going on, but the narrator has needs unsatisfied or even noticed. Humour as a survival aid. But then we always assume there's a sadness behind poems (because so many poems out there are "why I'm sad today"). But these enignatic poems entertain the imagination, for instance when you imagine what triggered "Is there?" "Did I?" all sorts of things spring to mind (My sister used to write steamy love letters, rip them in two ands slip one half into the library book she's returning. I did ask myself if this poem may be a parody on someone who fails to notice things in a relationship, expecting this and that but remaining distracted. |
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| This reminds me of an author called Jeff Noon. He doesn't write poetry, but his prose is so magical, fantastic and random, I thought of him when I read your poem. It's very interesting, to say the least. It's a day in the life of a girl on an acid trip---and that's not an insult :) |
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Comment by: danae - 2007-12-05 00:32
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| very interesting structure, like an internal dialogue that we are voyeristically listening in on...very discriptive opening... |
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| I love the beginning. After big yellow digger, it starts to fall apart for me. I love the start so much but I just can't quite connect with the end. It may just be a me thing though. |
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