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ac7904
Alyssa Capo
United States, NJ, Gladstone

Words: 544
Access: Public
Comments: 10

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Terminal Beginning

I am not interested in talking to anyone when my flight finally arrives in Seattle at three a.m., five hours later than expected. I want only to smoke. The smoking section is empty except for an employee sweeping butts, a tiny speck of blue against the grainy concrete. My second cigarette tastes awful but I smoke it anyway, feeling my body twitch and vibrate. My ride is still a half-hour away when the sliding doors open and out sidles a man, all in black.
“Hi.” He lights a Marlboro Red with shaking hands.
My body will not move. Jesus where are you Laura? “Were you on the flight from Newark?”
“No. I had to leave my Mom’s house last night. Where’s Newark?”
“New Jersey.”
“You from there?”
“Yeah.” He nods, pulls a hand through his greasy hair. “I thought the water last night tasted funny. It cracked my lips, made my mouth dry. So I threw a bunch of stuff away and packed just my drawings and writings and came here.”
My twitch is involuntary. He leans back like he’s casually telling me about the weather but in his eyes I see a hot recognition that he has terrified me. “That must have been unsettling.”
“Yeah. I design ships and software for the government. Boeing jet planes, toothpaste. Wanna see some of my work?”
The sweep of the broom is close by but my body won’t turn to see just how close. He squats down among the rotting butts of cigarettes to unzip his duffel. I can see notebooks in there, twenty, maybe more.
“Do you wanna see these?” He pulls out a monstrous stack, his eyes flicking towards mine. “Or I’ve got these.” Another four appear. He roots around towards the back, whispering words that are lost in the swooshing broom. “Let’s see, then there’s these.” He looks at me for a sign of approval, but my mouth and eyes have turned to stone. “Or my design jobs?”
“It’s up to you. Whatever you want.”
This seems to please him and his hands shuffle them around. He opens one, flips through the pages. “Here, I’ve designed a new Toyota car.” I peer at a page. Please don’t let me be able to read the words. Maybe he can sense my doubt because the pages begin to turn quickly. “Where’s that design for the jet engine?” His finger rests on the top of a page. “Here’s one for a cancer cure.” More pages are flipped. “This one is for the toothpaste.” He says it more as a question, looking to me as if for some reassurance. I nod but he’s turned back to the notebook. If only my nod could calm my mind and his.
The broom swishes inches from my feet. My blood picks up its rhythm and the bench and the structure I sit under vibrate. It comes in again and this time I lift my legs, just in time. The handle narrowly misses smashing my legs. Maybe he’s meaning to sweep me up with the butts and ash. The frantic turning of pages has stopped; he is staring at the sweeper.
“Do you hate your job?”

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Comments  
eonscott Comment by: eonscott - 2008-01-18 20:54
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Loved your short, it has (to me, at least) a nice disturbing but deliberate pace that really draws you in. Which is quite an accomplishment for something this brief. My only beef was a bit of trouble distinguishing characters. I think this was compounded by the employee who sweeps but stays mum. Quite a good read and loved the smoking angle!
ac7904 Comment by: ac7904 - 2007-12-31 08:56
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Revision is always happening...I took that out. It had bothered me anyway, the reference doesn't quite work, especially next to a sentence about a broom! Thanks!
colindardis Comment by: colindardis - 2007-12-30 09:33
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Interesting little snapshot here. I really liked the opening, in that the reader knows right away that the speaker is feeling unsocialable, and then the conflict that arises form being forced into a conversation. I didn't right the reference to thwe Emperor's New Clothes however- was there a broom in that???
ac7904 Comment by: ac7904 - 2007-12-29 09:05
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Thanks Bucho, Glen for picking up the errors, fixed them.
Nice quote, Lolly...I wonder about its meaning in light of my story. On a personal level, this situation was definately a "lost in translation" moment. Uncomfortable, to say the least.
lolly Comment by: lolly - 2007-12-21 03:02
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I just wrote this long comment and now I lost it and I'm pissed off because it was brilliant and inspiring and you would have loved it.

Here's a quote I stole from NONEEDTOFOCUS's bio: - "The man of understanding can no more sit quiet and resigned while his country lets its literature decay, and lets good writing meet with contempt, than a good doctor could sit quiet and contented while some ignorant child was infecting itself with tuberculosis under the impression that it was merely eating jam tarts.-
- Writers have a definite social function exactly proportioned to their ability as writers.-
- Good writers keep the language efficient, articulate, and keep it clear. Language is the main means of human communication. If an animal's nervous system stops transmitting sensations, the animal atrophies. If a nation's literature declines, the nation atrophies and decays.-
- Ezra Pound "ABC of Reading"
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