After The Fancy Dress Party: Alien's End-Beginning Rhymes #6
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After The Fancy Dress Party: Alien's End-Beginning Rhymes #6
Bend winter shorn bush, a satin shoe
Askew in branches. While skin gleams
Obscene-ly against pink taffeta, where
Fair-weather friends once admired.
Expired? Yes; and balefully so.
No more fervour in the raiment.
Lament the avertable finale;
Bloody MP3 still snared in ear.
Austere it would be, if not for tu-tu,
Few could not see the absurdity.
Beardy dancer, found dead in winter,
Liquor still fragrant on his lips.
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| Heh heh! Thanks Mick ;) |
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Comment by: Mick - 2008-01-18 04:07
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| I'm still laughing...lol. |
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Comment by: Mick - 2008-01-18 04:05
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Oh.... Yes....
Bloody MP3 still snared in ear.
Austere it would be, if not for tu-tu,
For You, who am after my own heart....
very well done.... Applause to the second …. No first decree
Bravo : ) Mick |
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| Some dark humor and some really crisp images. A guy deceased in a tutu? Unusual, creative and striking poem with a great last line. |
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I like the picture you've painted here! Poor beardy dancer. Lots of humour - great fun. Not really sure that 'raiment' would ever have fervour, but that might be a personal thing... There was one thing I didn't understand: what does, 'Bend winter' mean? Or is it a 'winter-shorn bush', that your narrator is instructing to bend?
Unless it's a certain bishop, 'Tu-tu' doesn't need that upper case; and it doesn't need the hyphen (or aren't you allowed to rhyme even 'tutu' with 'few'? Think I've taken this rhyming thing a bit too loosely... Hmm. 'few-few' definitely wouldn't work!).
Great fun. |
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