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Don't be cruel to Emo. He's a stuffed puppet and hasn't had any work since his master Rod Hull fell off a roof in 1999 after trying to repair a television aerial. Now there's a cunt that needed a good kicking. As for cunt-kicking, Miss Burke, in general I think you'd be better off aiming a Doc Marten or two at some bollocks as they're much easier to sever with a bit of ultra-violence. There's a handy recipe tip for that on Page 36 of "The Scum Manifesto".
Paul :D |
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| I like it as it is. Keep it. |
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Comment by: Remick - 2007-12-10 17:56
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I like it. It capture a lot in a short span. I don't have a problem with the first two lines--rather like "Etch a star into my wrist".
You might consider taking "I cannot tell if it's boredom
Or distress" and turning it into a question by making it "Is it boredom
Or distress?" not that I oft try to change other writer line--just feels right for the mood/pace/feel of the poem. I think that poem's quickness is a nice parallel between the poem the emotion of the event and the actual act. Nicely done. |
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Comment by: history - 2007-12-10 16:37
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| Despite the latest fashion trends, I do what I do. If I hear the word emo one more time, I may well have to kick someones cunt off. |
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EMO! STAY AWAY FROM CUTTING!!!!!!!!! very cliche...
other than the first 2 lines, I like. |
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