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Glimmer
In the dark, my eyes fall upon the stars in your eyes....
But i cannot move...
Cannot prove..
If i am really here?
Do you bring me your grace,
Here to shine upon my face,
Here to take me away from this place?
When can I wake from this twisted reverie?
I need to break free
Can you see...me
Walking to you?
Keep in mind, that i will find. ..
My way back to you.
It may be slow and too far to show,
But you will see the glimmer in my eyes reflecting the Stars in yours
Breathing, only breathing for you
To get to you, feel your life
In our kiss
Feel my life inside of you
Wait for me
Just wait, and you will see the glimmer in my eyes reflecting the stars in yours
Copyright ©2008 Anorin Arssinous
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Comment by: Aria - 2008-02-27 23:50
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| sandesh, thanks for reading. The essence of the poem are the lovers being separated by a certain thing, and one of them finding his way back to his lady. When he says, 'i need to break free', he means just that. he has to break free of whatever state or place he is in. The glimmer in her eyes are a guiding light and a sense of reality for him. Why did you think they did not belong in the poem? |
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Comment by: Aria - 2008-02-27 23:43
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| Thanks Damien, I wasn't sure about the question marks either, I just left them there for technicality. i'll get rid of them asap. thanks for reading! |
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A decent poem. I would drop the question marks on all of the lines except for: "When can I wake from this twisted reverie?"
It doesn't make much sense using them on those other lines.
Other than that another ace, kid !
D.Dread |
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| that is true a love piece. very engaging. a piece of suggestion- at line nine you say- i want to break free and at the last you say- you will see the glimmer in my eyes reflecting the stars in yours. i think both the sentences don't go with the essence of your poem. sandesh |
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