writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
TirzahLaughs
Lou Goodwin
United States

Words: 447
Access: Public
Comments: 3

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




A Man At the Market

Someday my son will come back and when he does we'll fix the roof and cook a fresh goat. Perhaps, we'll roast it and rub it with spices like his mother use to do. It does not seem so long ago that he played with sticks in the yard, making them baa like farm animals.

It seemed a silly waste of time to be playing when one could be working, earning money for the family. Now, oh now, I would love to see him in the doorway, grimy from his play, smiling at me with that crooked tooth . How he'd touch it with the tip of his tongue and look away when I scolded him.

But that was long ago, now the morning sun finds me through the holes in the roof and I miss him so. In the mornings, selling the bruised fruit in market, I search for his face among the crowds of sweating locals. Instead of him, Natol comes. Her body broad and squat, her face like a camel's ass, round and pinched. My widowed neighbor who thinks to make me her next old husband. Ah, the idea. I have no time for her.

Natol started pawing through my fruit, grunting and sweating like some rooting animal, casting up a dark, murky eye in what I hoped were not flirtatious glances. She was a bold one, that one. Had she been a year younger than a thousand, I would have warned her that she would get herself beaten for her loose behavior.

She brushed my hand, seemingly by accident. Ah, I jerked my hand away. I lifted my eyes away from her to search the teeming people, searching the faces. And there he was. My heart pounded. My son was coming toward me, a well-dressed man.

Jebee's coffee colored eyes looked into mine and saw me. For a moment, we stood there in some isolated bubble where only we existed. I raised my hand to call him forward, smiling. But Jebee's eyes did not smile. The moment lost, he started to walk past my stand, his lips pulled back in a grimace, his crooked tooth winking at me.

Perhaps, I was wrong.

I was an old man, my eyes were not so good anymore. No, no that was not my Jebee. Soon, my Jebee would come home and we would cook a fresh goat and fix the holes in the roof. Unsettled, I shoved a handful of damaged melon into Natol's hands, ignoring her pleased bleat and went back to work, my eyes still searching the crowd. My son would be coming soon and we would go home and cook a fresh goat together.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
fureyaersoy Comment by: fureyaersoy - 2007-12-17 12:19
Add to Readers
      
A very good piece, gripping you from the beginning to the end. You feel his loss deeply. Thanks for sharing.
Fureya
suibhne Comment by: suibhne - 2007-12-17 08:59
Add to Readers
      
I agree with vlclasby. It pulls you in and builds you up in anticipation of what the son will do... only to find it's not the son. I loved it, well done!
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2007-12-16 06:25
Add to Readers
      
Very nicely done. I loved everything about this story. The descriptions, the tone, the emotions, all pulled me in, as if I were there watching it all, then feeling crushed at the end.
1

Sponsored Ads


Added to Library of:

By TirzahLaughs

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S