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Ripped Sails
i'm on a journey in a boat
and you're my sails that got torn
that got torn, torn, torn
in a great, big, terrible storm
and every rip that runs through you
it runs through me too.
i've tried to stitch you back together,
but you still rip
i kiss your wounds, try and make you feel alright
but you still tear
and the truth is, i can't make it through the storm
not without you there
not without you there to keep the wind at my back,
the sun in my smile,
the waves from crashing upon me
but i can't be sure
i can't be sure
that ripped sails can carry a breaking boat
across an angry sea.
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Comment by: JED3 - 2008-10-06 08:11
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I have surely been to this place before, on the ship of storm in a torrent sea of love. Very nicely done Emily!
Best wishes,
John jed3 |
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great illiteration, anagoly/metaphors, and styling.
However, I didn't like a few things. The pacing seemed almost elementry, not quite to par of what something like this could be - if I may, a bit madonna. [And not the singstress].
Also, not sure if the reasoning was something other than purpose of ineptitude, but the lack of capitalizing?
Either way, great on the pri-adder. |
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| This is beautiful. The analogy is so perfect. It shows the hurt and pain that you only feel when someone close to you is also in pain. Well done. |
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Comment by: menoh - 2007-12-19 07:12
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| holy damn...that was absolutely stunning, and powerful. I feel the sadness, the aching hope that never dies. A truly beautiful and heart breaking piece, and is now one of my favorites. |
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| Very good. I liked how you compared the torn sails from the boat with emotions we experience. |
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