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escape
now there’s a thought
pull the dirt from my ears and
mouth, no muffle no more
cut me an officer’s suit
and I’ll carry that stove
in my wooden gloves.
let me swim
unwrap the bandages of my past
soaked in murky despair
as soot on a coalman
or night on a vampire’s breath
beligerent
ingrained in my nails
and the tip of the hairs on my hands.
you chopped
the shadow I hauled out behind me
with serrated tailor’s
scissors
and wrung out
my historical dirt
cleansing my future
making me smile again.
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"you chopped
the shadow I hauled out behind me
with serrated tailor’s
scissors
and wrung out
my historical dirt
cleansing my future
making me smile again."
I really enjoy the hope that this piece conveys; very nice. It was a good poem for my soul; made me smile along with you @ the end. I wouldn't change a thing.
I had to re read to catch the flow of this - could do with putting in some of the missing commas and full stops.
'escape/now there’s a thought' - I'm sure you're going to think my a numpty - but there are no capitals at the start of your stanzas, is this for the aesthetics/ambiguity?
'unwrap the bandages of my past/soaked in murky despair/as soot on a coalman' - great imagery. Could 'see' the murk clinging to the skin.
'you chopped/the shadow I hauled out behind me/with serrated tailor’s/scissors' - Again, fabulous image. Especially the serrated tailor's scissors.
