Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good girl all year (well, mostly – apart from the fruit-related incident). I’d like a new Barbie (my brother did experiments on the last one), some Moon Shoes, some Heelies and a mobile phone that’s Blue Tooth compatible.

Thank you,

Claire Reynolds

****

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good boy all year (well, mostly – apart from the thing with the Bunsen burner and the school guinea pig). I’d like a new tool kit (got some more Barbies to experiment on), a BMX, a PSP and the key to my little sister’s diary.

Thank you,

Simon Reynolds

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Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good boy all year (well, mostly – apart from the affair with my secretary, but no one has found out, so it doesn’t count). I’d like a new car (secretary doesn’t like the current model), an iPod, a year’s subscription to ‘Razzle’ (delivered to the office), and a box of champagne.

Thank you,

George Reynolds

****

Dear Santa,

I’ve been a good girl all year (all bloody year). I’d like access to my husband’s private account, a face-lift, a boob-job, a toy-boy, a bomb wrapped up with red satin bows (addressed to husband’s secretary) and, lastly, an exploding wishbone to shove up his ass after we’ve carved the turkey.

If this seems like too much to ask, I’ll settle for the wishbone.

Thank you,

Melissa Reynolds

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