What I Am
Sarai fluttered her pale, spotted wings as she touched down. Her dirty-blonde hair settled around her shoulders, not even slightly ruffled from the long endurance flight. Soft, full lips parted as she panted, chest heaving a bit under the loose white clothing that sheathed her pale form. Clear, gray eyes flicked upward, resigned and weary, before sliding shut.
"Begin"
The cool, sexless voice sounded all around, resonating in the empty space. Sarai’s eyes shot open, and energy cracked through the short, springy frame as the girl sank into a balanced fighter’s crouch.
Suddenly, she sprang forward and to the side, twisting her body to face the way she had come, the grace of the movement enough to take an onlooker’s breath away, had there been anyone there to see it. Still, the grace and quickness of the movement were barely enough to evade the explosion that destroyed the ground Sarai had occupied only seconds before.
The girl who had aimed the powerful kick straightened. While the lines of Sarai’s body formed a compact, powerful frame, this older girl had a leaner build, exuding natural power and an almost animal like feel. Her sapphire blue eyes displayed a wisdom that far surpassed her smooth, youthful face. The pure white wings that cascaded down her back only enhanced this other worldly beauty. For a moment, she stilled herself, unmoving and calm, despite the fatal blow she almost dealt to Sarai. Cornsilk yellow locks brushed her lower back, shifting in the slight breeze that whipped around both fighters. The brief hiatus in the fight stretched on for only a second. Shooting forward, the girl whipped her left leg forward in a low side kick aimed for Sarai’s right hip. Sarai brought her knee up in a clumsy block, grunting as the blow sent her stumbling. Struggling to keep up with the lightning fast blows, Sarai blocked another kick, then two punches before getting knocked to the ground when her opponent managed to pivot behind her and knee the small of her back, right between her wings.
As she hit the ground, the green plain dissolved, turning to colored sand and raining upward, fading as it went. The world, now a vague, purple blue haze, fell away, and Sarai went spinning, falling, floating in the suddenly empty space, becoming more and more exhausted. Her eyes weigh two tons, her body bound to the nothing by iron fetters. Struggling through the exhaustion, Sarai managed to turn her head just a bit, enough to peer one last time at that girl. Though her bright blonde hair had already begun bleed into the surroundings, the sharp, angular features stared out of the recesses of Sarai’s mind to pierce Sarai with her parting words.
"You fight for the sky and the air and sun. You fight for the right to dance in the wind. Soon, soon child, but forget until your time"
***
Opening her eyes, Sarai rolled over, groaning. It was Monday, the start of another monotonous week and the end of the blissful weekend. Suddenly, a vague memory of her sister’s face burst from the deep recesses of Sarai’s sleep fogged mind, the perfect, blond hair falling just right over those stern sapphire orbs, accentuating the angular chin and nose. However, something was different. The background, purple-black, and slightly indigo, seemed to be absorbing her sister’s image, and the face faded away into nothing. Sarai jerked herself into a sitting position, startled by the strange image. Why was she thinking of her prep of a sister? Sarai had only been with her for two days and now she was dreaming of the perfect goody too shoes? Disgusted with herself, Sarai threw off her blankets and steeled herself to face another day.
Stumbling through the monotonous morning routine, Sarai tried to remember the dream she had been having. All she could bring up was that she had been excited, powerful, and a little scared. Oh, and someone else had been there too. Someone Sarai admired, someone fast and strong, more so than Sarai herself. Frustrated and preoccupied, Sarai managed to stub her toe on the new mahogany dresser that took up one whole wall of her new room. Cursing under her breath, Sarai made her way down to the kitchen. Toe still smarting, she investigated the stainless steel refrigerator.
Great, out of milk, Sarai thought, eyeing the meager pickings in the fridge. For someone so rich, she sure doesn’t see the need to feed herself. Slamming the door in annoyance, she froze as commanding blue eyes caught her gaze. Sarai’s older sister, Arianna stood there, spick and span in her off-white gouchos and deep blue long-sleeved shirt. For a moment, Sarai tensed, as if the older girl meant to attack her.
Catching herself, Sarai thought, What, why did I react like that? Damn, now she’ll think I’m a wuss or something. Crap. Arianna had yet to take her eyes off Sarai. Keeping eye contact, she opened the refrigerator door, took out an apple, and closed it silently.
“You would do well to control yourself,” Arianna said coldly. Her voice was light and airy, like a strong breeze.
“You would do well buy some food,” Sarai shot back. Though the retort lacked venom, Sarai felt a certain sort of pride in it. When she had first met Arianna, Sarai had been completely blown over by the older girl’s strange aura. Even now, as Arianna’s brow folded into a frown, Sarai felt that subtle push coming off the blonde. Sarai could not explain what it was, somewhere between a feeling and a thought, some times strong, sometimes weak, but always there. This made Sarai wary. Having been adopted a week before, Sarai knew next to nothing about the person who now held legal custody of Sarai’s person, though this alone was not troubling. Sarai was a veteran of this adoption thing, having been through this process nine times in past eight years.
Ten minutes later, Sarai headed towards the door, looking forward to the mile walk to the bus stop. As she opened the door, a white hand shot out, halting Sarai in her tracks.
“You are not going to school this week,” Arianna said, moving to stand in front of the door, forcing Sarai to give ground. Caught off-guard, Sarai blinked then turned away and replaced her backpack on the hardwood floor of the entrance way. Then, her mind caught up.
“Wait, What? I can’t just not go to school. In case you forgot, I do have a life that does not involve you or this house. You have kept me here all weekend, no mall, no movies, no going out, and now you want to me to skip school? Not that I don’t, you know, just love being here with you and your perfect little country life, and, hey, I really don’t mind skipping a day here and there, but something tells me that I’m going to be doing something really stupid if I stay with you, like, I don’t know, helping you with your yoga obsession, or your stupid meditation poses. Screw that, I’m out of here,” Sarai spat. Grabbing her bag, she squared her shoulders and prepared for a face-off. Yup, Arianna was livid. It seemed that the older girl was used to everyone around her jumping up and obeying her at the snap of her perfectly manicured nails, because every time Sarai spoke to her like so, Arianna almost had an aneurism. Smiling condescendingly, Sarai was prepared for a loud yelling match, and maybe even a little up in your face screaming. What she was not prepared for was a roundhouse kick that sent her sprawling against the wall. Stunned and slightly afraid, Sarai stared up at her sister.
Arianna’s face was twisted with rage, and her arms were twitching like she was forcibly holding herself back from further pummeling Sarai, but she only choked out, “You will obey me. No one leaves this property.” The aura that Arianna always was growing like a pressure on Sarai. Sarai thought her ears would pop, but Arianna turned and left the hallway. Sarai stayed where she was, still amazed and unbelieving. This was illegal. Sarai knew it. Everyone knew that no one was allowed to hit minors anymore. Esspecially kids like Sarai, who were wards of the state. Every family Sarai had ever been with had always tip toed around her, making sure not to do anything that could be deemed abuse, harassment, or any other reprimandable action.
Pulling herself to her feet, Sarai rushed back to her upstairs room, glancing fearfully right and left at ever corner. As she ran through the house, Sarai’s fear turned into rage. How dare that, that, son of a – uggh! Throwing herself on her bed, Sarai punched her silk pillows and screamed into them. Her chest heaved with the emotion that ran through her body. Well, happy birthday to me. I get a kick in the face. Fists so tight her knuckles cracked, Sarai leapt up and proceeded to demolish the disgustingly neat room. New, expensive paintings that had been taunting her since her arrival: gone; Full length, gold framed mirror: shattered; Lace covered oak bedside stand: thrown across the room; matching oak bed: ripped to pieces. Completely enthralled with her anger-driven violence, Sarai did not at first notice the strong breeze that had picked up in the room. When her back twinged and the air whipped through her hair and clawed at her clothes, Sarai did not notice. When a shock ran through her entire body and her back exploded with pain, Sarai finally took notice.
She collapsed against the torn mattress that had been pitched into the wall, struggling not to scream out loud. She could feel every beat of her heart, which was now racing, faster and faster, every beat pushing fiery bits of razor ice through her veins. Every breath caused her diaphragm to spasm. Her back felt like it was slitting open to poor out her vital organs. Screams echoed in her ears, piercing her torched head with needlelike shots of pain. Wait, those screams were coming from Sarai’s own mouth. Sarai could not think, only endure it, hoping for death the entire time. Hours, minutes, seconds, time did not exist, only the pain that rode Sarai in never-ending waves that racked her body, building in frequency and intensity. Suddenly, when Sarai was sure the next wave would kill her and end the torment, something burst out, and it was over. Sarai gratefully fell into the dark blanket of unconsciousness.
***
A dull, throbbing that paralleled the beating of her heart roused Sarai to wakefulness. Rolling over, she groaned and winced as she bent one of her wings the wrong way. Taking a deep breathe, a myriad of scents slammed into her nasal factories, too strong and varied for Sarai to know what any of them where. It felt like ten different perfumes sprayed right into her face at the same time, each scent probably pleasant on its own, but burning and overwhelming with too many others. As she winced, Sarai realized she could feel every fiber in the fabric underneath her bare arms, count the stitches in the cloth that sheathed her body. That seemed strange. Should she be able to do that? For some reason, Sarai felt nervous and worried as she processed this information. Sighing heavily, she managed to wheedle her eyelids open. The sight took Sarai’s breath away.
Prepared for a sight of domestic life somewhere in one the adopted houses the state put her in, Sarai was not prepared to wake up on a blanket of silk in a green, grassy glade bordered with old sycamores and oaks. Not only that, but the world had changed. The colors, the rich greens, browns, and reds of the natural landscape were intensified somehow, clearer, like an unnoticed fog had always hung in front of her eyes, but had now been burned away by some mysterious sun. Movement in the corner of Sarai’s eye caught her attention, and she turned herself toward it. A common sparrow fluttered down to land on a branch, cheeping to himself about nest building materials. When Sarai concentrated on the sparrow, it was as if she activated a spyglass, for her vision honed in on the sparrow, and she could see everything about him, count the feathers in his tail, notice the dent on the right side of his beak.
A faint humming filled the air in the small clearing and Sarai tried to find its source, seeming to test the air like a wary doe in an open meadow. The humming faded and a new being entered Sarai’s sight. This creature was perfection. Its pure white wings reflected the sun with each flawless stroke, gleaming beak and talons like gems adorning a fine lady. It settled on a low branch, landing gracefully. Sarai allowed her eyes to trace the fine lines of its face, down its sleek breast, ending with its wide, feathered tail. A bird of some kind, maybe a hawk? No, no too small. A falcon? Hmm, maybe, but its huge for a falcon. Wait, what’s that?
Sarai felt Arianna. The feeling or whatever it was that always announced her presence was here now. Sarai twisted every which way to find her, but kept returning to stare at the white falcon-hawk. Frowning slightly, Sarai studied the bird closely, using her new binocular vision to magnify the bird until it was as though the sat there just in front of her. It was definitely a raptor, judging by the vicious curve of its beak and lethal sharpness of its talons. Those dark eyes had a predatory air about them, and right now they were focused on Sarai. Actually, the bird did seem very interested in the girl. Since landing, it had not taken its eye off her. Sarai stared back into its gaze.
Breaking eye contact, Sarai’s memory suddenly restarted. Who she was, what she had been, and what had happened all came rushing back. Sarai scrambled to her feet, but found that her two new appendages threw off her balance. Her muscles, sore and stiff either from lying still so long or the painful transformation, did not help the situation with their constant twinges of complaint. Remembering the all encompassing pain that had followed her emotional outburst, Sarai concluded that the changes had occurred during that time, or in the unaccounted for time she had lain unconscious. Along with the heightened sense, these things attached to her back were very new, very noticeable changes as well. Wings.
Twisting her head around, Sarai managed to get a good look. Feathered in a speckled off white, they were much larger than any other wings Sarai had ever seen before. They seemed to begin just past the shoulder blade, unconnected to her arms, and the feathers began to grow just past the junction between back and wing bone, starting fuzzy and down-like, then quickly elongating into full blown feathers. Craning her head to the side for a look at their length, Sarai wobbled and began to fall, only to have her wings shoot out and flap once, twice, just enough to help her regain balance. Smiling with childlike wonder, Sarai practiced opening and closing her wings. My wings. Sarai played around with the words, still so strange and new. Quickly progressing to flapping, Sarai enjoyed ruffling the grass with quick flaps.
All too soon, Sarai allowed herself to acknowledge her situation. She was stuck somewhere without food, water, or money, and she suddenly had wings, as well as fine tuned senses. This was straight out of a sci fi book, no doubt. Considering her options, Sarai decided to scout around and get a fix on her location, avoiding other humans at all costs. Many late night movie binges had taught Sarai of the dangers humans posed to those who were … different. Personally, Sarai liked herself just fine without being made into a Frankenstein creature or being examined on a lab table.
Randomly choosing a direction, Sarai struck out walking off to her right. She had only taken three steps when a blur of white caused her to flinch back. In her new vision, the quick movement had been doubly startling. The white falcon-hawk had darted in front of her and was now glaring at her from the ground off to the left. Opening its beak, it gave a loud screech, then turned, ducked down, and launched itself upwards, flicking out its wings. It circled Sarai once, then returned to its branch. It seemed to be telling Sarai something, but what?
Suddenly, another memory burst forth in Sarai’s mind. Sarai knew how to fly. Though she knew she had never before had wings, Sarai vividly remembered being taught to open her wings to their fullest extent, fill them with air, and shove it down to earth so she would fly high in the sky. Someone had taught her, but Sarai could not remember who. That was frustrating, especially because Sarai knew someone had taught her about this flying thing, and more, much more. But she could not remember. Snorting in frustration, Sarai turned to face the rest of the glade.
There was maybe twenty yards of clear space for a nice running take off, more than enough room, or so Sarai estimated. A part of Sarai considered the insanity of what she was about to do, considering that this should not be happening, that Sarai could easily slam into the trees or worse, but the rest of Sarai studiously ignored that part. Gearing up, she sprinted forward, allowing her wings to open up, feeling them slice neatly through the still air. The wind resistance built, and, pushing a bit faster, Sarai felt ready. Taking two wingfuls of air, she jumped as high as she could and shoved downward. The trees were barely ten yards away. Slowly, Sarai began to rise. Pushing back the initial elation, Sarai concentrated, reach forwad, push down, back. Forward, down, and back. Forward, down, and back.
Barely three feet from the trees, Sarai cleared most of the branches, scraping her feet against some of the higher ones. Relief sang through, making her giddy. More likely, it was the fact that Sarai was flying. She laughed out with the pleasure of it, hanging suspended, all by herself, completely free of any and all tethers. Reaching in front of her, Sarai stretched her fingers ahead of her, threading them through the strong breezes that eddied around her. Spreading the feathers along the edges of her wings and widening her resistance, Sarai glided for a moment, over one hundred feet above the ground, feeling almost drunk with pleasure of this moment, this freedom and independence. A rising warm air pocket, unseen, grabbed her left wing and bumped it off course. Unsteady, Sarai tipped back and forth, loosing altitude and speed. Panic abruptly replaced euphoria as Sarai struggled to steady herself, and failed. For the first time, Sarai looked down. Random trees littered the rolling landscape that was dotted with different grasses, all of which would have been visually pleasing had it not been rushing upwards to meet Sarai head on. As Sarai’s mind gave way to raw panic, her wings folded and she plummeted faster. Unable to close her eyes, Sarai watched in horror the ground flew up to give her its deadly kiss.
Dimly, Sarai heard a shrill shriek somewhere nearby, then a humming. Sarai’s wings snapped open of their own accord, and Sarai found herself gliding slowly toward an flat open area. As soon as she was close enough, Sarai flopped awkwardly onto the ground, legs giving way, wings flipping up as she somersaulted to a stop. Trembling slightly, a shadow passed over Sarai, and the girl, sprawled on her back, arched her back to look behind her.
A creature with pure white wings gracefully alit onto the waving plains grasses. She was tall and lean with cornsilk blonde hair. Her clothing, an unfamiliar cloth, fit her body well, the pants and backless shirt seeming almost a part of the girl. Gathering her wings to her sides, she turned around. Once again Sarai found herself staring into twin sapphires. Sarai turned over onto her belly to stare open mouthed in amazement.
Arianna approached Sarai and checked her over, feeling over each of her limbs and wings. Satisfied that there was no serious injury, Arianna settled herself on the ground in the Indian pose, wings splayed out behind her like the train of some beautiful white dress.
“I expect you have a few question for me,” she said, acting as though this was very natural, saving her sister from a fatal fall on her first flight around the forest. The fact that both girls had suddenly sprouted wings did not seem to phase Arianna at all. Sarai was more than a little confused, to say the least.
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