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my feeling little bit moodier
I was in a website where people give advise on blog page design, and all of a sudden this heart breaking note flashed onto the screen, written in large font in red:
Dennis if you get this Message please come back home again , i know you very hard to find a job around Kansai because of me ......
But day by day The term came to close you stay in japan ....I know you very Hard and Hurry up run a round must to geting a new jobs ,,,,,,AOMORI very far away from Kobe but if you need that work because for can live in japan , i will going with you , i will stop my job going with you although any where .....because i love you true Heart .....
Why you do not say with me any things ? quiet left me when i busy at work ?.....because you worry i do not forgive you go to AOMORI ? .how do you can do that with me Dennis ? do you know you are in my Life my Soul .....
i am Jealous !!! yes i am .... because i am women and i am is your women ....so ask you i can not jealous ? and some the day my work had little bit a trouble , i will finish working the end of this month ,,,,,so my feeling little bit moodier ... you are is my husband my man ,,, Why do not understand me ? even i tolk you many times .
Get this Message ....i really BEG you come back home with me , and forgive me if that my Jealous it is i Hurting you ...
And all of Dennis my husband Friends ! please forgive me too ......
AND YOU ARE MY BETTER MAN .....No other one can change you ...and my love for you ..
LOVE YOU ....your STUPID wife AKI
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| Grae, on reading it again, although I know you're right about the English and I can see my English teacher nodding with approval, the way I wrote it is how I would have said it and it expresses my amazement. They way you wrote it is more like a letter to the Daily Telegraph from the proverbial in Tunbridge Wells. Also the point of the the piece is what she did. The fact she's obviously not English and, like me, didn't go to grammar school, is not the point! |
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Comment by: PBlakey Online- 2008-01-12 04:33
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| You know that's amazing. To find and collect someone else's moment, a desperately expressed sadness, a gorgeous careless non bashful plea , to the world, to who ever, if it achieves its aim. It is one of those random experience which lifts the lid on a secret world and lets you peer in when least expected. A gift and a treasure, thank you for bringing it here. |
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| Yes. You're right! Thanks |
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John, I know where you are coming from with this, but I feel that you need to get the opening paragraph spot on to contrast it with the message that you receive
'I was in a website where people give advise on blog page design, and all of a sudden this heart breaking note flashed onto the screen, written in large font in red:'
could be better put as:
'I was on a website where people give advice on blog page design, when this heart-breaking note, written in a large, red font, flashed onto the screen:'
Then the message that follows makes more sense, otherwise we would attribute some of the poor spelling and grammar to you, rather than the note.
Hope this helps, Grae. |
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