"Cold Hearted Bitch!" and he stood still, knowing he hadn't missed.
The words flew like fists. I felt icy fingers squeeze my gut and wrap themselves around my throat. I reached out to steady myself against the door but nothing moved. I felt the colour drain from my hands, face, heart and it all slowed to a standstill.
Hands hung lifeless...feet rooted to the tiles.
Still nothing moved. Nothing that you could see.
I felt the trembling rumble up through my legs, arms, head and I imagined he could see.
He didn't flinch..just waited. Still. I could see him rehearsing his next lines. I'll say.., she'll say.., I'll say..
Then..
"Fuck Off" I thought I said.
"All I wanted," I thought I said "was someone to lift the nappies off the floor an odd time. Or someone to take her aside and tell her she is the most beautiful daughter that was ever born. Or notice that the line was weighed down with dry washing. Or say "sit down and I'll do that." Or make the dinner without instructions"
I thought I said.
"And what I got was to lay awake at night listening to you playing the Playstation. And to cook and clean and wash and work and try to sleep."
I thought I had said all that. In those seconds though, I had stood there, watching.
"OK" I said
"Don't forget to lock up" I said.
And I left. I felt the fingers loosen their grip, the ice melt.
Cold hearted bitch? Ab-so-fucking-lutely.

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