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PBlakey
Philippa Blakey
Online
United Kingdom, North Yorkshire, Scarborough

Words: 44
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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deep freeze

you wont let me slide
or at least we'll slide together
into the silence
under the black and stars

the same sky

remember

but then I know
we really shouldn't
be under this sky at all
just holding hands

but dancing

on thin ice

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Comments  
Johndeprey Comment by: Johndeprey - 2008-01-06 18:45
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Said like steady cautious steps on, as you say, thin ice. There's a warning in this, a panic voiced. You get the impression this is half of a dialogue and the other person is less cautious. The narrator is probing, establishing how secure her other half is. All that so simply said. Very good poem.
edgarallanpoet Comment by: edgarallanpoet - 2008-01-06 11:46
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I really like this and the use of breaks I found interesting. Love the final image of dancing on thin ice. Very unique way to reinstate the overall sentiment. I find your work unique and magnetic.
EnigmaticSoul Comment by: EnigmaticSoul - 2008-01-06 04:56
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with few words you have captured a lot of meaning here. Beautiful!
larciero Comment by: larciero - 2008-01-05 18:23
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beautiful and poignant.
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By PBlakey

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