So...been thinking...in this no time, little space...parallel paradigm...all this running toward...loosing oneself in....seeking....wondering...we all do it through various means...influences, different places, more alcohol, new music, more food, new movies, more stuff, new religion....more sexual experiences...new internet....more chocolate...new addictions...dressing up or drugging out...more, more, more....running, running, running...and all we're looking for is transcendence...movement beyond the mundane...and all the time, it's not out there, it's inside...all the time, waiting for us to just look, to just remember, but we don't have faith so we keep looking everywhere else and feeling empty and we don't have trust so we listen to what everyone else says, and we don't have a center because the center lies in the midst of the circle not in some off the wall, out of the way unexplored place.
The place we could explore forever and still not know it all...is the very complex, very complete, very creative self inside. so why are we so afraid?
Maybe we've been taught and we believe the teachers instead of our own voice.
Maybe we've been brainwashed and it's so easy to let others do the thinking for us.
Maybe we've halfway seen it, but look away, because we don't want the responsibility owning up to being us, just us, but all us, complete, entire, massive, always changing growing waking self.
Maybe we're just lazy, or like the easy road and the steak and the lack of surprise and the idea there's not something so huge we can't put it in words or paint it or make it into a computer game or map it on a flow chart or even comprehend how much there is.
Maybe we're instructed to pretend it doesn't exist by a society which can't afford the collected voices of the individual. Maybe we remember in dreams or sense it in our poems or touch it in our song lyrics or on the cusp of a sunset or in the eyes and on the skin of a lover and maybe we are afraid to grasp it because it's so overwhelmingly beautiful we can't imagine it exists

so we settle
for what they sell us
we buy what they tell us
we believe what they teach
and how they bribe
and how they hide

Maybe if we all struggled and fought and woke up all at once...

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