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Unfair Advantage
Timmy started it with chewed paper and a soda straw. Mikey answered with a pen tube. Timmy stuck pins in his ammunition. Mikey modified a recorder to fire sharpened pencil stubs and popped Timmy's left eye.
In ten years, Timmy will attend high school graduation with an assault rifle under his gown. Nobody will understand.
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| Ooo. Psychiatrists miss the warning signs, don't they? I love the hidden terror at the beginning to the obvious truth at the end. Most people fail to identify the clues until it's too late. Have you been following American politics the past several years? |
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Comment by: celiza - 2008-01-14 03:57
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| It wasn't the ending I was expecting. Nice turn of situation from being all light and kiddie to something completely opposite. Nice! |
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-01-13 13:25
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Another cracker - sibling rivalry taken to the nth degree, the future mapped out in a disturbed mind.
Two great stories from you, James.
Cheers
Karen |
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I think it's sad that a silly little kid's fight--which is what it really is, in another context and minus eye-popping this would be hilarious--has to end this way. I don't know; perhaps if we had more evidence that this was a pattern of bullying behavior, I might have more sympathy for Timmy with his assault rifle. As far as I can tell, though, being as Timmy started it,and upped the ante with pins, it was probably an accident.
I don't really like the abrupt tonal shift to "TRAGIC" at the end either. I'd prefer you kept more of the half-funny, half-really, really not, tone you have in the beginning. But that's probably just me. ^_^ |
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Comment by: Juan2 - 2008-01-11 20:47
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Jeez, what a horrible relationship these guys have. At least nobody was killed at the graduation... since Timmy's depth-of-field is so messed up that he ends up aiming for the balloons. Right? Right?
Man, these stories are sad...
happy writings. |
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