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Punished
The hissing
of the geyser, a snake
lurking in the savanna grass.
An old rusting pipe leaks,
the drip drip echo,
my auditory senses soaring in the dark.
I stand cemented on the cold
grey floor, a warmth
slithering down my leg
into a puddle at my feet.
An enormous door looms
over me, the sliver of yellow at the bottom
reminds me of the family inside,
who banished me
to the icy basement.
“But it really does hurt” I
had implored. They believed
the doctor not me
“She’s doing it for the attention”
they reasoned.
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| very nice...the one who we thingk cannot think can also think.. |
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| Good images, I especially liked the line “my auditory senses soaring in the dark.” On the line “´But it really does hurt´ I”, it seems like the “I” would go better on the next line. |
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O, this is so tragic. Ignorant harm. Is this autobiographic, or a scene from the soul that calls for your/our compassion?
I don't quite get the connection with the snake. Knowing what sort of snake might make the difference. Specificities?
"Echo's" needn't be possessive. Plural.
Tis an odd typology: "...does hurt” I [line-break] had implored..." Might you message me and tell me why you did it like that?
You offer up some great images. Judging from this one piece, I think you have the great serpent of poetry within your deep waters. |
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| Interesting reading :) |
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