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As the depth of ocean
As the rage of tide
In the veil of mystery
more secrets it hide
A witness of life
To events of each moment
Yet memory is bound
In prison of past unspent
A mirror of glitter and sparkle
Hopes and dreams it behold
Yet a beauty full of intrigue
Gazing with many tales untold
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Once again. I like your boldness, straight to the jugular. But it's a difficult poem to interpret. It has such strong contrasts that they seem to be contradictions - which I like because to starts with the image of raging tide then the poem is seen to rage itself. But I did find the image of the raging tide did not suit the "veil of mystery" that I feel is something still, mist like. Then we imagine the imprisoned memory, with its gloomy atmosphere. Then suddenly there is glitter and sparkle, and we're shown that hidden within are so many things that would be beautiful if seen, and it is the intrigue that fascinates. If I read it correctly, I like the theme, but should it be in such a violent setting? and isn't the beat too abrupt for the theme? I hugely enjoy your strongly romantic imagery - I find tight-lipped coolness boring.
