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noneedtofocus
Stephen Moore
United States, California, Berkeley

Words: 94
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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Two bags and your reason why.

the first thing you do is
brush your teeth.
At least that way, in the bathroom,
you get a sense of things.
You can't avoid the forced image
of reflection and hang over,
of stiff hands and bruised vocal chords,
of soggy ivory and stale tongue.
Swallow that meat in your mouth son,
It does you no good.
you don't remember preaching son,
but your knees burn.
Know who should be praying
and why she can still be sleeping.
It still won't save you
but you were never serious
about leaving.

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Comments  
bbones Comment by: bbones - 2008-01-17 12:47
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Beautifully written. There is something about it -- I don't want to say it's powerful, because it's something entirely different -- that knots your throat in a way. It makes you think.
Sophia Comment by: Sophia - 2008-01-16 07:22
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I agree this is powerful, reflective as well. The opening is a scene you can visualise, and then these lines:

'Swallow that meat in your mouth son,
It does you no good.
you don't remember preaching son,
but your knees burn.
Know who should be praying
and why she can still be sleeping.'

really grab attention and make the reader think about who is being addressed and why, and the end wraps it up perfectly.
drgnflygrl Comment by: drgnflygrl - 2008-01-15 11:24
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Very powerful. I really enjoyed this.
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By noneedtofocus

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