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Mother's Attention
Bobby sat at the keyboard. His mother stood behind him and held her breath. He curled his fist, allowing one finger to point down. With the swiftness of a sparrowhawk, it plunged to an ivory slab. Da-wang! The errant digit struck a nearby black key on its way to the ivory. The loud discord echoed through the small apartment.
Okay. So. Bobby was not going to be a musical genius. They had spent many hours on this bench, ever since he could sit up, his small hands clasped within hers as they touched the worn, well-loved piano. Two years later, he showed absolutely no aptitude whatsoever.
Just as his other hand came down to join the first, Corleen plucked her son from the bench. Discouraged and in tears, she placed the child within his playpen. Bobby’s attention became riveted with the cartoon pattern beneath him.
Corleen stumbled to the kitchen. A bottle of wine was removed from the refrigerator, a cork was popped and a delicate glass was filled. As she had been doing for the last handful of years, she drank. So much of her life had been disappointing. Her faltering career as a concert pianist, cut short by a foolish tryst. Her son, brain-damaged in the womb. Her mind-numbing, double-shift factory work.
As his mother sat in the next room, Bobby softly hummed one of the tunes she had been teaching him. His voice was in perfect pitch. Corleen was already too far gone to hear.
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| This is a great piece of flash. It's stirred me into feeling for both MC and her son. I pity her in her rut of ill founded hope. I also pity her little boy, it sounds like he'll always be overlooked. |
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| OK - thank you for the explanation, Louise! That's an interesting thing to learn. |
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Comment by: LouiseKay Online- 2008-01-20 20:31
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| To answer your query, Rosie, this woman drinks - to forget, to drown sorrows, to wish for better things. Even though she goes through this ritual(sitting at the piano) with her son many, many times, she always hopes each time that somehow a miracle breakthrough will occur. It goes along with other obsessive behaviors and the general insanity of addiction. Most people who have gone through AA(I have several close relatives who have been through the program) know this proverb; 'The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect different results." |
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Another sad story - this challenge seems to be bringing those out! I found this very convincing, Kirsten, the mother who's too self-absorbed to see what's really there. You managed to pack the whole woman's history into so few words - very well written.
Just one query: I did wonder why she held her breath, as she seemed already to know that he had no real aptitude for the piano. |
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| I like your narration style. Da-wang! "Ok. So." Stuff like that! It keeps it light, quirky, a bunch of other nice adjectives. I love it when parents overlook stuff (not mine though)and when they are too wrapped up into their own lives to notice their children. I really thought art was going to be his forte after she put him back in the playpen and he was looking at the carpet, but nice switch at the end. |
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