writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
ChrisHately
Chris Hately
United Kingdom, Co. Durham, Stanley

Words: 140
Access: Public
Comments: 6

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




So Sick

*This is a song*


Don't talk to me,
About yesterday.
Enough was said,
I'm about to pay.
Can't take no more,
Same damn fight,
So fucking sick,
Every damn night.

But why stay silent,
when it hurts like hell.
So why stay silent,
It's hard to tell.

Your harsh words,
Your icy glare,
Your abstinance,
Your penetrating stare.
Won't take no more,
Of the same thing,
Over and over,
And over again.

But why stay silent,
when it hurts like hell.
So why stay silent,
It's hard to tell.

"So when you start telling me what I can and cannot do, it's not a relationship no more...it's a goddamn dictatorship...A fucking dictatorship!"

Don't talk to me,
About yesterday.
Enough was said,
I'm about to pay.
Can't take no more,
Same damn fight,
So fucking sick,
Every damn night.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
Comment by: - 2006-03-13 03:10
Add to Readers
      
Powerful...'nuff said...

Wraith
psgri2003 Comment by: psgri2003 Online- 2006-03-11 17:44
Add to Readers
      
I like this and, to take issue with jaded submersion, isn't the disintegration the whole point of that line? you don't just write a line like that without knowing what you are doing.
jadedsubmersion Comment by: jadedsubmersion - 2006-03-07 03:27
Add to Readers
      
"Won't take no more,
Of the same thing,
Over and over,
And over again."

This section doesn't rhyme the way most of the other stanzas do, it doesn't flow quite as well.

"So when you start telling me what I can and cannot do, it's not a relationship no more...it's a goddamn dictatorship...A fucking dictatorship!"

This part doesn't seem to flow at all. The rest of your poem is concise in the rhythm that you use, but here it seems to disintegrate before you get it back.
Comment by: - 2006-02-25 11:57
Add to Readers
      
I agree, I would also love to hear this as a song.

Thankyou for being so kind to me with your comments on my work.
Spinnekop Comment by: Spinnekop - 2006-02-25 11:52
Add to Readers
      
Would love to hear the music. Anger sometimes brings out the loveliest poetry...
1 2 Next

Sponsored Ads


By ChrisHately

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S