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A place that doesnt feel (Jan 16)
You are a thoughtless shadow approaching a town, that no one you know lives in. You are breathing sound without a scent, you are a whisper being smothered. You are tired and you are hopeless, you are doomed and its no secret. This town will eat you whole. This place will steal your soul.
So keep yourself inside, keep yourself warm. Be the mist that goes unnoticed, be the light that is never seen. Try to go on living, as if nothing will ever know. You are a shape, you are a tool, that no one knows to use. You are alone and waiting around for someone to say your name; But this town is full of people, and you are like a ghost.
That keeps on moving.
Just keep on moving, until something makes you real.
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Comment by: junie2 - 2008-01-26 00:18
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| You are a most perceptive writer, and you make a person stop and think. At least I did, and you said so much in such a short time. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future as you post them. |
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wow i really enjoyed that poem
i can relate completely. |
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| This was so creative, heartfelt, emotional, logical...you can feel the resolution with a hint of remorse, frustration and sadness. Excellent write. |
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This is quite profound. The words that especially ring for me being:
'You are a thoughtless shadow..'
'Just keep on moving, until something makes you real.'
One point:
You are tired and you (are) hopeless,
A nice piece. |
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This sets a tone, the mood and the feel of the person trying to fit in a society that does not know one even has an existence, like the words to this write... Just the feeling I got when I read this piece...
GYM |
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