The time is fast approaching
Only an hour or so left.
The bride’s mother is deep in a frenzy,
Still trying to do-up her dress.

The children are all so excited.
Screeching, and running around.
All dressed-up and spruced-up and polished,
But Johnny’s nowhere to be found.

“Would one of you go and find Johnny?”
His mother then asks with a plea.
“He's what? He's out playing football!
Oh! How could he do this to me?”

The bridesmaids are looking so lovely,
Laughing and chattering and gay.
All making their final adjustments,
As they dream of their own wedding day.

The guys, they’re not looking so cheerful.
They're cringing at every sound.
They look pale - and sort of uncomfortable,
Distinct signs of their night on the town.

The groom? “Oh no, I'm not nervous”
As he paces he says with a laugh,
But his shoes are too tight and his collar’s not right,
And his shorts are beginning to chaff.

The bride? She’s looking a picture
And she's ready! Well more or less.
Little Sarah’s mouth opens in wonder.
Now there's gum on the train of the dress.

The guests start arriving in numbers
There’s Laura with Great Uncle Lyle
He's clutching his box of confetti
And spilling it all down the aisle.

The organist starts playing with gusto
And the vows are tremulously said.
A ring and a kiss and a tear and a smile
At last the two lovers are wed.

“Now let’s have a great celebration.
Make sure you ask Granddad to dance.
The way he's been looking here lately
It might be his very last chance.”

"We'll sing and we'll dance and be merry.
We'll eat and we'll drink plenty too.
But let’s keep a close eye on mother,
She shouldn't have more than a few."

He sticks close to his bride all the evening.
She only has eyes for her groom.
They keep whispering each other the question,
“When can we go to our room?”

Their mothers had fretted and worried
But it’s all been a marvelous success
Through his rum her father keeps muttering
“Thank God for American Express!”

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