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Tanka (Allien Challenge 8)
Tiresome journeys
day in, day out; following.
A soft, velvet dream
of a placid moment in life,
Tasting like Turkish delight.
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Comment by: Arley - 2008-01-28 07:10
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| I guess “tiresome” can be stretched into 3 syllables instead of two, but as Cheryl said, you’ve got one too may of them in live 4. Enjoyed the poem, regardless, Fureya! |
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Thanks Alien, when writing I used a syllables counter, called Li Bo's text inspector, according to that there is 7 syllables, but will check again.
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Comment by: alien Online- 2008-01-27 07:48
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| I like this a lot. It's something people can relate to. There's too many syllables in line 4, though! |
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| Oh! This is lovely, Fureya. Well done, Anna |
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Comment by: Dante - 2008-01-19 14:53
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| I can really appreciate and relate to this poem Fureya. Living away from my home state, my mind often wonders to that comfortable place. You have captured this perfectly in few words. |
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