The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it.
I come quietly
Blanket the land
Hide in corners of the yard
Lay lightly in tree limbs
Holding me so strongly
I am snow
You smile with delight
Indent me like angels
Tired you rest as I rest
The rest of the day
Knowing tomorrow I'll be gone
I am snow
1-18-2008
Rachel Jones
Want to comment on this Poetry? Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
I like this little poem! In some ways, what happens to the snow seems to be a parody of life.
I do have one suggestion. I believe the second to last line would be much more powerful without the word "Knowing."
Also, I've noticed that you wrote this piece without punctuation. There are several schools of thought on that subject, and neither is right or wrong. Personally, I like to use punctuation to control timing in my poetry. Here's a link that describes my sentiments on the subject better than I can express them. http://www.explorewriting.co.uk/PunctuationAndPoetry.html
I like the symmetry; it's something I use too.
The relationship is strong and the certain irony that you will be gone. As in, nothing lasts forever - unless it does. :)
