“Do you ever wonder why the moon seems to follow you wherever you go?” her voice was soft but audible as she voiced her question to her companion in the drivers seat.
“No, not really.” his voice was slightly exasperated, almost as if this question was a burden to him. “I mean really its just science.”
“Yes, but, is it really?” she mused.
“What is it with you, Angie?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know its like ever since…” he fell silent, he knew better than to bring it up until she was ready. He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she looked at the floor of the car, a tear trickling down her cheek. There was so much wrong with the way they shunned everything that was bothering them, but how was he supposed to bring it up when he wasn’t sure she wanted to.
“What are we doing, Blake?” her soft tone persisted.
“I don’t know, Angie.” his answer was simple because he really had no idea why they acted the way they did anymore.
“Its almost like we…” She stopped, looking at the moon again.
“Like we what?”
“I don’t know, its like since mum died we’re covering up everything, I mean it used to seem like I could read your mind and now its like, I don’t know, there’s just no connection anymore, or else were covering it up.”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you talk to me anymore, Blake?”
He didn’t answer at first, he didn’t want to tell her he didn’t know because he really did, but he felt that if he said something it would make her feel bad.
“Do you know I tried to kill myself, Blake?” he jerked the car a bit when she asked him this.
“What? Why?” his voice was shaking though she still seemed completely composed.
“I wanted to go with her. There’s so much I felt I wanted to share with her, so much I had to ask, so much time we needed together.”
“Angie?”
“What?” She asked calmly.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because I couldn’t talk to you about it then”
“Why?”
“I didn’t think you’d understand.” she said simply.
“Angie, don’t you think of all people I would understand?” his voice cracked, he was about to cry.
“I don’t really know, Blake, when she died it was like you had no emotion for me, it was just like you were pissed off at the world…I wasn’t sure how to react towards you and I wanted mum and I don’t know it was just like there was no other way.”
“Angie, you’re my best friend! I’m always here for you, I always have been and always will be.”
“Yes, but Blake you’re also my big brother, and I don’t know it seemed like I could tell my best friend, but not my big brother.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” he shook his head.
“I know but that’s the way things are sometimes.” she shrugged.
“How?” he asked knowing he wouldn’t have to be specific for her to understand what he was wanting to know.
“Razors.”
“How did I not know this?” he gripped the wheel.
“I was at Aunt Alicia’s house.”
“Why the hell didn’t she tell me.” his voice raised a bit.
“She didn’t know.”
“How did she not know that you tried to kill yourself?”
“She was high.” her voice finally betrayed an emotion, irritation.
“But…”
“After I did it I didn’t want to die anymore…I wrapped my arm tight and called a cab.”
“Angie…”
“I told them I fell on a piece of glass that I forgot to pick up.” the irritation in her voice grew.
“God, what idiots.” he growled, pulling over to the side of the road, he was shaking too much to drive. “Can I see your arm?”
She pulled up her sleeve shaking slightly, another emotion, fear. What he saw made him gasp. Around a long deep gash her arm was littered with smaller, shallower cuts, some barely healed others just scars.
“Angie!” he ran his finger on the cuts that ran up her forearm.
“I said I didn’t want to kill myself anymore,” she said fearfully, “but I loved the pain.”
“Are you still doing it?” he asked regarding the fresher, scabbed over cuts.
“No, I stopped a month ago.” her emotion was ebbing away again.
“Good.” he wasn’t sure he wanted to believe her but he let it go. He turned off the car, not ready to drive just yet.
For five minutes they sat in silence. A Snap of the rubber band on her wrist was like the threat of a gunshot, it brought him out of his reverie. How long had she done that? Why hadn’t he realized it before? His thoughts must have read on his face.
“I started when I stopped.” she said simply.
“Why…” he shook his head, “Why don’t I realize these things anymore?”
She shrugged and snapped the band on her wrist again.
“Why…” he said again, “Why do you do that?”
“It’s some sort of therapy.” she said simply.
“How do you know that.”
“Our dear friend the internet.” she wasn’t trying to make him laugh, he knew that. “Where are we going?”
Anyone else would’ve seen it as a change of subject but it was more like an invitation to keep asking, just not now.
“I have no idea.” he followed her gaze, she was looking at the moon again. The sides of his mouth twitched as he started the car, they weren’t going somewhere and she knew that.
“Running I suppose?” she cocked her head.
“Letting the moon follow…”

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