Is this the end
Is this the life that I was destined to live
Am I the anomaly of an equation that’s
Meant to add life to something as we know
Be the positive in the scheme of things which may seem to be
Proportioned by numbers and arithmetic so that the sum equals a whole number
A whole me.
Or the negative balance that takes away and keeps taking until there is nothing positive left and the
Only thing that remains is the integer that continuously steeps further in to negative, the minus
The nothing.
Is this the pinnacle point of my existence where
I live it up and go out with a bang so that people years from now
Remember the name and tell their children and their children’s children
Of a man who lived his life on the edge……….
Or do I just rot away into the slums of the Earth
Only to disappear and fade away into the thing that most of these vessels on this planet
Have no choice but to succumb to……
A nameless nobody.
Is this the chapter in my never-ending story when
The hero dies and evil reigns over the land bringing this to an end
Or, is this the point where the hero overcomes all of his obstacles
And progresses into more than what he once was so that
The new story will begin
Is this the climatic conclusion
Of a cleaver plot conceived by the many people who in this life
Breed of gluttony, greed, and envy
Or is this just a paranoid thought brought on by myself
From the many delusional thoughts that have had ran through my head a plenty
Is this the moment of clarity
When the heavens open up and shine down the guiding light
Showing me the greatness that is meant to come forth
Is it my calling
My leap of faith that beckons me to achieve that goal to live and
Insures me of something better in this plain of existence.
Heh, I don’t know what this is anymore
At this moment, I’m just laying here in this hospital bed
Anticipating what’s next
Contemplating of the action of the attempt of taking my own life
Was that leap of faith I was supposedly destined to follow the right choice
Or a mistake
I can’t even speak on it at this moment because I can’t seem to open my eyes
And all I can here is a woman telling my family that I’m in a deep sleep
Without knowing when I’ll ever wake up
So whether or not I live on a respirator without ever getting to see
Artificial light grace my pupils once again
Or the plug gets pulled and that will guarantee me to rest in either
An afterlife based on being tortured, abused, and mangled
Or in eternal bliss
All I can do now is wait on the outcome
And ask myself this………..


Is this the end?

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