The place for writers: Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it. |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Quite quickly it can be
A piece of string that doesn't hold a thing. A voice that can not speak. Several times forever intertwined with people you never see. A life that was lived then lost in a day. Its the simple things that always get away.
A balloon in the sky, a paragraph forgotten. Memories made to no advantage.
All these things, these simple little things always get the best of me.
Like the wind when you waiting, like a thought you cannot contain. A chance to change, blocked by former days.
But progress can be made, cause everything can be discard.
Like a string you do not need, or words you wish to say. Even the good times you had can be stripped away. Everything can change.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
For some reason,
I'd like to have
the lines
broken up
more.
It would give me more
Time
to think
about them. |
 |
Comment by: - 2008-01-26 04:38
|
|
| likening memories to a piece of old string, it is a strong image, perhaps not all that optimistic but i do agree in the image of transient motion. even memories lose significance and everything fades, even cherished memories. a point here, "like the wind when you [are] waiting"? |
|
|
You have some really lyrical sounds going on in here, from the title to the end.
I think "intertwined" could be "entwined" and that hard "t" sound wouldn't trip you out. See how it sounds.
That second stanza really packed a punch. Cheers to this. |
| 1 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
| | Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster. Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S | | |