the carrots wandered the aisles late at night
in the soft buzz of the neon lights
looking for the donuts to do dirty unspeakable things to them (or so rumour went)

but the donuts were clever
we must not underestimate those doughy wonders
they had hidden themselves beneath the cauliflower with all their might and power

the carrots were feeling belligerent
and began to taunt the croissants high on the shelf
but the celery would not hear of it and waited in stealth by the cheese buns

the carrots moseyed over to the bakery
shouting profanities into the air
little known the fearful figs had joined the stalking celery for the attack

the carrots rounded the corner and laughed
so confident in their conviction to succeed
the celery and figs jumped from behind the sticky buns baring terrible claws and teeth

the carrots were so shocked
that nearly half collapsed unconscious on the spot
the celery and figs danced victoriously using the carrot juice to paint their brows

the donuts came out of hiding after hearing this
and the entire vegetable section rejoiced
for too long the carrots had been boasting they were the tastiest much to the tomatoes distaste

soon representatives rolled in from all parts of the grocery store
to judge the carrots on their crimes
but the wise spinach and veggie dogs stepped in and asked if there was anything wrong with pride

there was a murmur erupting in the crowd
surely something had to be done but nobody knew what
the carrots pleaded for mercy to the cruel loaves and bananas jeering everyone on

it was decided that the carrots would be punished
by a fate certainly worse than death
they were escorted by the mighty watermelons to the discount almost-rotten vegetable rack

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