Silver (DRAFT)
Everywhere she looked she saw silver. Silver on the dashboard, silver across the pillow, silver inside her coat pockets. Tumbleweeds of it collected in the corners of the living room, making her look like a slovenly old woman with cats.
She hadn't been silver before. The chemicals, they had changed everything. Before she'd been tall, now she looked stumpy. Shed' been rosy and plump, now she was pale and thin. Her short black hair stood on end and blanched, as if it had seen a ghost.
Perhaps it had glimpsed what she'd become: She felt lighter than ever and strangely transparent. There was no cold, only different varieties of hot: boiling, burning, blazing, Hell. Plus, she was melting, slowly melting--like Saran wrap in the microwave, gasping and bubbling. She dissolved into floorboards and walked through walls, her hot hands thrust forward, grasping only air.
Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: karjon - 2008-01-30 14:10
|
|
I took this to be someone sufering from cancer - am I away with the fairies again?
I thought radiotherapy, hence the hair loss, reduction in wieght and stooping brought about by illness - but, like I say, I can be way off sometimes.
Anyway - you'll get tired hearing me say 'great descriptions' - but they are. You always come up with original ways of putting things, and I always look forward to reading them.
Cheers
Karen |
 |
Comment by: Dakota - 2008-01-28 09:21
|
|
A fascinating read - nice visuals too. Really enjoyed reading it.
Some ideas.
To be picky like the Wizz - maybe her hands (which were melting, melted?) could be stumps pushing against air - and her walking through walls - could be something along the same lines - just to keep the dribbing, boiling, melting line of description going. But it's your story - and this was merely what stood out in my thoughts as I read...x |
 |
Comment by: WLC Online- 2008-01-27 13:28
|
|
| As God as my witness, as long as there is Clariol hair color I will never go silver! HA HA Loved it to death. Men can go gray and look distinquished as hell. But let a woman age in the same way, and she's a hag with 30 cats with no self-esteem left whatsoever. Great short! |
|
|
| A lost soul for sure-liked your descriptions here. You made this quite a spooky story. She is dead, yes? |
|
|
a spooky one for sure. I liked it. It is interesting that we never learn who She is.
With the Saran wrap comparison, it brings to mind the morbid jokes about hamsters being stuck in the microwave. Don't know if that was intentional. |
| 1 2 Next |
|
