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amber3212
Amber M
United States

Words: 152
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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troubled thoughts

i'm tumbling around in this mass of confusion
nothing's making sense any more
everything around me is just an illusion
i can't seem to find what i'm looking for
my life is on commercial break
as far as i can see my world's falling apart
my mind is now awake
as i'm searching for a new start
my hands are trembling
i don't know where i'm going
my mind's reassembling
the music is slowing
i just keep hoping things will one day make sense
i'm pulling everything apart without knowing
my mind's set in present tense
but my body can't keep up with it
the silence is growing louder by the minute
the light is growing fainter
in eloquence and anger
my heart will never be content
something's missing
all those hours that we spent
now we're reminiscing

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Comments  
Comment by: - 2008-01-27 17:13
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I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was well written and had a constant flow. Well done on keeping the equal rhyme throughout the poem, without making it loosing its strength. My favourite part was
“my life is on commercial break
as far as i can see my world's falling apart
my mind is now awake”
I liked the description and similes used right through the whole piece.
great : )
wizzer Comment by: wizzer - 2008-01-27 13:11
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gorgeous as usual. can say no more than that i'm afraid
xxxgeo
redtwinsis Comment by: redtwinsis - 2008-01-27 10:36
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I can relate to this I feel the same way great read thanks for sharing it :)
1

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By amber3212

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