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DawnWilson
Dawn Wilson
Italy, Milan

My Bookshop
Words: 392
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Wishin' 'n Prayin'

It was a sweltering hot July afternoon in Argo Alabama, and Ben had just about all he could take of Irma running her mouth.

“Damn!” He muttered under his breath as he opened his eyes and continued to hear the drone of her voice. It didn’ work, he thought. Maybe I’m jus’ not tryin’ hard nuff.

That had to be it. After all, hadn’t his daddy always told him since he was a youngun that anything was possible if he just believed strong enough?

He closed his eyes and commenced to thinking, this time even more bound and determined.

“Ben, when ya fixin’ ta call the mechanic ‘bout that dang car?” Irma egged on, toting a basket of clothes in from the washline.

He shut his eyes even tighter, trying to pay her no mind.

“Ben! Did you hear me?”

He could tell from the sound of her voice that she was getting ill as a hornet.

“An’ I’ve been waitin’ on ya all day to run the garbage out. All ya been doin’ is piddlin’ round all afternoon.” She paused long enough to take a breath. “Ben, what the hell are ya doin’ sittin’ there like a fool with yer eyes closed like that?”

She was beginning to make him feel swimmy- headed, but he just kept sitting there, not bothering to open his eyes, making out like he didn’t hear her. For some reason, his mind went back to his Sunday school days and what he learned from his teacher about Jesus. Something about having faith like that of a mustard seed, but Irma was picking at him so bad, he wasn’t able to remember the exact passage of scripture. But it didn’t matter…he just had to believe…to have faith…that was the important thing!

Then it happened! Silence…nothing but beautiful silence. A slow smile came across his face as he slowly opened his eyes, believing he had finally gone and done it. But the first thing he saw was Irma – standing before him with her hand on her hip.

“Well?” She looked at him like he was plumb crazy.

“Shit,” he mumbled, the smile fading from his face. He shook his head as he rose from the chair. There were some things his daddy just didn’t know nothin’ about.

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My Bookshop

Comments  
DawnWilson Comment by: DawnWilson - 2008-02-01 00:21
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Thank you so much kpotter! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for the suggestion!
kpotter Comment by: kpotter - 2008-01-31 15:15
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I love how in the first line there is so much tension instantly. Great skill!
That is great that he is trying to get her to stop talking by sheer concentration and will.

The characters are really realistic to me. They have even become full blown physical beings in my head, even though you didn't tell much about their appearance. (Her hand on her hip was a good attitude addition!)

(“Well?” She looked at him like he was plumb crazy.)
I am curious if there is any other way to explain her looking at him. Like maybe she is looking at him a little more forcefully? Just a thought~
Thanks for the enjoyable story!
Katie
DawnWilson Comment by: DawnWilson - 2008-01-29 01:17
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Thanks, Jim! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment by: - 2008-01-28 20:52
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Ha! Funny story, Dawn ... loved the use of dialect and how you actually had me fooled thinking his "problem" was fixed, only to bring him (and the reader) back to reality. Very entertaining!

//swimmy- headed// don't need the space after the hyphen.
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By DawnWilson

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