The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world. Learn how other writers are doing it. |
|
 |
 |
 |
| |
The Hunt
Through the undergrowth, I hunt you
with absolute
concentration,
with ardor infused.
With trepadatious steps,
I pursue you on top of dying
leaves.
You slow,
and I put an arrow
in my bow.
You bend and I see you’re in heat.
I pull the arrow back and
release.
Whap.
The arrow connects
with your nubile
skin. I approach and remove
your fur.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| it's about sex and the, well, "hunt" for it |
|
|
| This is weird.. I don't get it, It's kinds funny.. |
|
|
| The imagery of sex was vivid to me. But I think that most of the lines are cut short unneccessarily. Two or three of them would have done better as one single line. |
|
|
| I like this it was fun to read... :) |
|
|
Your fifth and sixth line make the fun in this poem a little too obvious. Don't know how the feel about the rhyme in the third stanza, but I seriously love everything else.
Tweak it a little, don't be afraid to hide the meaning just in the diction. Very, very good. Collins meets Bear Grylls. |
| 1 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
| | Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com |
|
|
|
|
| |
Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S | | |
