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the higher register
and then.......
then nothing and more
of the babble, the orange psychobabble shrill in it’s enrichment when
asked of the past memory, that you have to be accurate or attempt
to the best of your knowledge without codes of euphemism,
quote without color, what’s impossible, this other version,
colored select.......
but I remember, was uttered and into the void of recall went the
oracle, in a desperate attempt to resurrect sight and sound, twenty five years past, of sixty five chevy wagons, of the bridge back then, what was to drivers from the outback; the williamsburgh
in all it’s narrow-landed petulant glory, it’s adversary to an old car
beaten bruised and bloodied in faulty alignment that hurtled us
sideways across the span that emptied into the neglected ward of the colored and the poor, down the boulevard toward a doom only life could
create,
screaming 'round corners while hubcaps rolled and clanged into the
gutter, before the gentry brought uptown down to a post Lindsay disco yippie glitter punk pre glamgrunge electronica retro ska clubland dubbed into fly by drive through a web of desire, before the dawn of a new era where accountants rule and all is commodity
beyond an assembly line of expression puncuated by false hope you fell into the sky
tattered for fashion and gathered for inspection only to return next week to get beaten up
all over again
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Hi Eon,
I am always reluctant to sound too authoritative in my comments as everything is entirely subjective anyway. One has to know WHO is supplying comments to even remotely begin to know how to take them, though even then I find it impossible to believe that two people see the same pair of shoes in the same room, so to speak. Having written that, your work, while obtuse at times, has real light to it, a real stamp of "you", which I find to be a strong suit, whether a poem or piece in particular is "strong" or "weak". Every writer writes both at some point, if they stick with it. The tough part is finding one's original style without the hindrance of the mind editing the life out of it. In this respect, this piece is approaching orbit.
I currently run an online journal and I am especially looking for visual work. If you are interested, take a look (www.watchingthewheelsablackbird.blogspot.com). I would be happy to consider some of your work in the various mediums you pursue/work in.
Best regards,
Dylan Hock
Editor in Chief
Watching the Wheels: a Blackbird |
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| I think this is a very unique kind of poem, I like the way the verses are seperated, maybe I'll learn to pull this off one day. Very cool! May I ask what inspired this? |
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| i adore this, iwas drawn in and captivated. you say so much in the unsaid and yet the imagery is so vivid i can smell the rust and road dust. love it love it love it. |
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