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Audiogeist
Sharon Harriott
United Kingdom, London

Words: 102
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Prodigal - Alien #9 Tritina

Warmth, refuge and love; musings on my father
Who, with quiet gravitas, coaxed a wayward son.
Heart weary, your renegade renders you a holy ghost!

Such pride filled eyes; we girls excused favour of your son,
Blind to stacked hope that threw shadow over our holy ghost.
Pride turned to water and splashed at our feet; broken father.

How many times to forgive? “Seventy times Seven”, says the Holy Ghost.
Greying optimist, you put your trust in God the Father
And nod with bent knee and head, noting your absent son.

Can God hear when you whisper, “Father, Son and Holy Ghost”?

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Comments  
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2008-03-10 05:28
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Way to go Sharon! Finally caught the Feb Winners and bopped over to read this.
Rosie Sandler Comment by: Rosie Sandler - 2008-03-04 13:12
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Wow - isn't that two months in a row? Well done, Sharon! I'm really sorry I didn't visit this before. It's really complex, isn't it? The father's optimism and then his disappointment - and the girls' barely being noticed. Great stuff. Well done, you!
alien Comment by: alien - 2008-02-13 08:23
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One point of niggle, though - you've used greying optimist twice.

It's such a lovely line that to overuse it does it no justice.
alien Comment by: alien - 2008-02-13 08:22
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Fantastic idea for the three words. And unfortunately for me, being not religious, I didn't get the significance until the last line when it hit me between the eyes. So in a way, it was a nice surprise :)

Really, this is a great poem. I'll be reading this again when I have less of a headache because it seems as though there'll be gifts aplenty inside the words in subsequent readings.

Well done. I like this one a lot.
Audiogeist Comment by: Audiogeist - 2008-02-07 01:23
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Fabulous point Les, much appreciated. x
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