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frayed
Jarred Keane
Australia, NSW, Sydney

Words: 81
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Tiger Spider

Tiger spider
Not a fighter
You like it
So quiet
You’re never seen
To be movin’

Tiger spider, you’re
Not a fighter
I could try
Tiger spi - der
Yes I could try
To be calm by, her.

Tiger spider’s
Tiny fingers
They don’t move
Like there’s glue
But still there’s fight
At day or night.

Tiger spider
Not a fighter
Seem so mean
Didn’t mean
To judge harshly
Let’s leave you be.

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Comments  
Artorius Comment by: Artorius - 2008-07-10 13:28
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It's unique, I like the stillness in it.
shaneherd Comment by: shaneherd - 2008-06-04 16:20
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Liked it, not a huge poetry guy but really liked your style. It showed a lot of creativity and I like how you stress the stillness of the spider.
frayed Comment by: frayed - 2008-03-02 06:49
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Yeah actually, i suppose it is more of a song, and i agree that is slightly contrived so i changed it and i think it makes more sense now. thanks for the comment.
wizzer Comment by: wizzer - 2008-02-07 14:52
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not sure about this. i am hopeless at poetry but is this more of a song with refrain?

some of the rhymes seem slightly contrived eg But still there’s fright
At day or night.

lovely story makes me think of spider orchids which is greaT (i'm not keen on spiders)
xxxgeo
1

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By frayed

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