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Sheets are still crumpled
An imprint, where she lay
The trolley has been trundled
No longer could she stay
Flowers have been ordered
Wardrobes now standing bare
Arrangements to be chauffeured
Jewellery already shared
Her glasses on the mantelpiece
No one’s making claim
All seems to be at peace
Things never stay the same
After the favourite hymn
And a few words said
All dressed so prim
Now papers to be read
Not at all a happy time
The ending never planned
As the clock begins to chime
Emptiness, a feeling to withstand
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Poignant images here, nicely done. My father's was the last funeral I went to and you took me back there. His glasses by his chair were the most arresting reminder of his absence.
‘The trolley has been trundled’ is a great line. Overall my favorite stanza is the third.
Wow. Initially I thought the title would lead to another 'lover's poem. Thsi piece really touched me.
Couple of suggestion....Leave out "After the favourite hymn
And a few words said
All dressed so prim
Now papers to be read".
It breaks the flow and contiuity, and really doesn't add to the overall feel of the piece.
In second stanza, try a single word like 'gem' instead of 'jewelry'...jewlry breaks the rhythm of the lines too much, making it rough, not flowing. Also rework the second half of the last line (after emptiness)..feels a bit rough.
My favorite stanza ="Her glasses on the mantelpiece
No one’s making claim
All seems to be at peace
Things never stay the same" -gives me quiet sorrow and grief. Very well put. Over all I like this poem. :)
