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Chris Millar
Chris Hastie
United Kingdom, East Sussex, Eastbourne

Words: 98
Access: Public
Comments: 3

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The Gathering

The sun beat relentlessly on their backs, soaking their shirts and brows. Onwards they pushed through the fields, swinging their scythes, the blades glinting in the early autumn sun. Adam paused and looked up, absorbing the scene. The golden corn, once tall and proud in its worship of the elements, lay scattered across the ground behind them. Heavily he sighed, his shoulders aching from the labour. Laird looked over to him smiling encouragement. Soon the sun would set and the harvest would be completed but until then they would work. The rewards more than compensated for their efforts.

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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2008-02-17 07:11
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Hi CHris

Nice descriptions of a farming scene - not sure it's a full story yet, but I see you have linked the two, so I'll reserve judgement.

Picky things - the sun soaking their backs and brows - wasn't sure about that. I assume you mean it caused the sweat, but I don't think it works the way it's worded right now.

'the sun' is mentioned three times - it stands out in such a short piece.

I think you need a comma between 'him' amd 'smiling'.

Good take on the theme.

Okay - off to read the other one.

Cheers

Karen
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-02-14 17:46
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The gathering in of the harvest is such a pleasant take on the challenge. This piece has a timeless feel. I see the whole scene. Nicely done.
wizzer Comment by: wizzer - 2008-02-12 18:14
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beautiful. hard slog/ toiling the fields
sun blazing excellent flow visuals
xxx geo
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By Chris Millar

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