Despite all the graphs explaining the complete necessity of rising tuition costs, students continue to struggle to pay. Without marketable skills or degrees, students have been forced to seek less-traditional methods for earning—or perhaps I should say, the oldest method[1].
“Yeah, I’m out here most nights,” says Student X[2], twirling a feather boa from the theater department and cat-calling in iambic pentameter. “I figure that since, like my Women’s Studies 112 teacher says, all male-female relationships involved prostitution in some form, it’s not that big of a deal. Also, I’m making, like, 20 bucks an hour. Sure, some of that goes back into STD tests, but it’s totally worth it.”
Unable to find decent work-study jobs, the streets are a place of last resort for these students, who have been driven by desperation to whore themselves out to the highest bidder[3].
“It’s so cold. It’s so freaking cold. God. I should just drop out and get a job in the coal mines, like my dad. At least they give you breaks there,” says Student P[4]. “Or I could always work at Wal-Mart again.” She stretches out her leg and whistles at a passing man. “Hey, sailor! You, me, thirty bucks, and fifteen minutes! What do you say?” She turns back to me. “Nah, not Wal-Mart. I’ve got my pride.”
Experts are unsurprised by the phenomenon. “It’s an old tradition that any marginalized group, when forced into unlivable positions by the dominant or ruling class, will turn to prostitution in a last chance attempt to survive,” said one. “The students are simply following the same path walked many times by others in despondency. I pity these students, I really do. Oh yes, those poor, sexy, cheap students, half-crazed from the cold and willing to do anything for money.” He then excused himself.
Some are matter-of-fact about the situation. “No, I’m not gay,” says student F[5]. “But I need to buy another book for P-Chem. So, whatever.”
Others welcome the new opportunity. “I’m getting paid to sleep with women, dude. This is the life! I’d be out here every night if I could, having sexual relations with females.” He looks shifty. “I mean, yeah![6]”
All of them seem, if not happy, resigned to the situation, however. It’s sad that our students have been forced into this unpardonable position, accepting money for sex, but those of us who are refraining from such activities must set an example for them[7]. Let us not judge the dirty, dirty whores, but rather those who have made them lower themselves in this manner. It is the administration[8] who should shoulder the smear of this shame, not the students.
