writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
RJWilliams
RJ Williams
United States, CA, Covina

Words: 150
Access: Public
Comments: 11

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  

A fistfull of Change- Wee Chanllenge #26

“Mom tells me you’re leaving . . .”

“Yup”

“Know were you’re going?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Yeah, thinking of where to run to is the hardest.”

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Helping you pack.”

“What for?”

“When Dad was alive, and I was running from home, he helped me pack. Good thing too, almost forgot my sleeping bag.”

“Can I borrow yours?”

“Sure, mine's real comfy. So, you’re leaving tonight?”

“Don’t know.”

“You’ll need food.”

“Got me some cheese doodles and granola."

“You went shopping in mom’s pantry, good move. The granola was a great choice.”

“Thanks James.”

“Sure thing, what about money, got any?”

“I got money.”

“Let’s see, open your hand.”

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, you’ve got as much money as I had, when I ran away. Just a fistful of change . . . Hungry?”

"Yup.”

“Mom made lasagna . . .”

“Serious?”

"Sure, thing . . ."

Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up



[Back to top]
Comments  
willyblake Comment by: willyblake - 2008-08-13 10:54
Add to Readers
      
Hey RJ,
Nice dialogue. Good flow. Realistic. Bit of a light social commentary. How much lasagne can you get in a knapsack, anyways?
Ash19640 Comment by: Ash19640 - 2008-02-21 03:51
Add to Readers
      
Hey RJ! This was a very warm and sentimental read; I liked how this was purely dialogue driven and that your word count was exact especially when this is a story about symmetry. Very nice. :D
krademacher Comment by: krademacher Online- 2008-02-19 20:21
Add to Readers
      
stay for the lasagna, and then ask permission to cross the street so you can run away.

Good one, RJ. This brought back fond memories.
sudipal Comment by: sudipal - 2008-02-19 15:54
Add to Readers
      
Great conversation piece- reveals a lot about the characters.
Juan2 Comment by: Juan2 - 2008-02-18 20:10
Add to Readers
      
Ha, love it. Brings back memories of simpler times with my older brother. Pissed off one minute, munchin' on homemade cookin' the next. Great dialogue throughout, gives it such an authentic feel, nothing contrived or unrealistic there. Great work! Nora caught my only little niggles... sharp eye, that one.

happy writings.
1 2 3 Next

Sponsored Ads


By RJWilliams

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S