 |
 |
 |
| |
Last Night's Leftovers
Urine
In the toilet
Waits calm as pond water
In those hours before daybreak
Flushes.
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
| I needed a laugh. Got one here. J |
|
|
| Well, knock me down with a syllable. I never thought of 'hour' as 2 before, either, but I can see how it might be. See - I've learnt something from your poem about wee. |
|
|
| Hah! Ok body waste humor is awfully popular these days for some reason, but this IS pretty funny.... yeah it's the dry delivery I think that does it. I can imagine you sitting down with this WTF attitude to pound it out. Nice. |
 |
Comment by: Juan2 Online- 2008-02-28 15:55
|
|
Hey rosie, that's right about pond water. As for syllables, Dictionary.com lists hour as two syllables, so I went with them on that one. Thought it was only one myself, until this challenge came along...
happy writings. |
|
|
Hooray for not flushing in the dead of night! At least, I think that's why it's waiting 'calm as pond water'? Isn't line 4 one syllable short? I keep counting 7 instead of 8.
I love poetry about what ought to be non-poetic subject matter - great stuff. |
| 1 2 3 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
