Alien Challenge #10: cinquain
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Poetry >> Alien Challenge #10: cinquain
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Alien Challenge #10: cinquain
HIS BOOTS
His boots,
Worn at the toes,
Escort him towards home;
And I listen for the sound of
His steps.
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Comment by: sudipal - 2008-02-29 09:51
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| thanks. when I was writing this, I went through so many different words before settling on the words "listen" and "sound" to fit the syllable criteria; I would actually really appreciate it if anyone could think of better words to still fit the format and my original intentions |
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Yeah, "steps" is better. I imagine an escort as being outside of the subject rather than part of (or worn by) the subject. Maybe a different verb?
Is there a verb other than "listen" which might give the reader more insight into the emotional state of the narrator? |
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Comment by: Cherley - 2008-02-25 18:27
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| This is a nice little poem. I haven't done that challenge yet. I still may, I believe I have a day or two to go. Boots or shoes are an important part of a person. |
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| I really like this one, Chana. It has a great rhythm, which makes me think of the boots stomping. Great detail in the 'Worn at the toes', too. |
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Comment by: alien - 2008-02-22 04:41
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| Oh. Give it a title, as well :) |
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