Graduation - A Challenge to Graduates
A Challenge to Graduates
©2004, Janet K. Poludniak
Revised 2008, Janet K. Poludniak
While graduates sporting caps and gowns may suggest an end,
as we look toward the future, it's more than this, my friend.
Many of you have desires to pursue great aspirations;
I wish you success and happiness well past this celebration.
I would challenge every graduate to set your standards high.
If you would realize your dream, your best you must apply.
Your life goals will determine if you succeed or face disaster.
Let God guide your steps, aright, in every task you'd master.
Determine to live honorably and refuse to compromise.
Remember, greatness in this life is not controlled by size.
While those who misuse others are destined to lose ground,
and those who freely give and help are gifts not often found.
To have a friend, be a friend–the kind of friend worth keeping–
‘cause any other kind of friend is only cause for weeping.
And if you'd have a legacy when your life is done on earth,
encourage good in others which will cultivate their worth.
Formal schooling may be done, but there's still a lot to learn;
you'll gain knowledge at every step, in every place you turn.
Don't climb the rungs of life too fast, leaving friends behind.
Later, in a difficult place, you may need them; be kind!
Learn from those who've climbed ahead, those who've stood the test;
but don't dismiss the ones who've failed; their wisdom may be best.
Nothing will prepare you for the tests you're bound to face,
so put your trust in God, above; lean hard upon His grace.
When commencement is only a memory, still lessons lay ahead.
Thank God for every day He gives when you climb out of bed;
and when, at night, you close your eyes to rest from toil of day,
remember, it was God who led, and don't neglect to pray.
Many crave prosperity! It becomes their greatest goal;
but there are more important things, like peace within your soul.
God honors those who honor Him and live with integrity;
He's not impressed by wealth or fame acquired by infamy.
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| Thanks for the critique. Very useful. I had an English major go over it recently and re-worked it a lot. This is what I was looking for, but didn't get. Thanks a big bunch. I'll have to work on it in my WP program and upload the repairs. And yes, I do have a "T" and use it whenever I write, but it's not a good one. Need to invest in a regular Webster one. J |
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hi Janet..
Graduation time (has come again);
//a bit verbose, consider a word that means that.
for some it (seems) an end,
//avoid that word when possible..
its weak..
throw a thesaurus at it.
and in a way, I guess it's true,
but it's more than this, my friend:
for those who are graduating,
are (merely starting a new chapter);
/could be stronger.. sorta cliche.
avoid cliches like bear traps.
and I wish them all true happiness
that lasts forever after.
//cliche..
The things you dream you can achieve,
but only when you try.
//cliche.. might be other ways to say it.
do you use a thesaurus?
thesaurus.com.
or get The Sage. everyone ive given it to loves it.
The goals you choose have (much to do)
//a word that means that maybe.
with (whether) you'll be winning,
//awkward to my ear..
so let God guide your steps, aright,
from this (new beginning).
//love the aright
might be a word that means new biginning.
Determine to choose right values
and refuse to compromise.
/gentlemans bet that if you throw a thesaurus at 'right values' you find something YOU like better.
Remember, greatness in this life
is not controlled by size.
But those who misuse others
in the final score will lose,
while those who freely give and help,
are friends that most would choose.
//like the stronger rhyme here.
To have a friend, just be a friend,
the kind of friend worth keeping;
'cause any other kind of friend
is only cause for weeping.
And if you'd have a legacy
when your life is done on earth,
encourage good in others
and cultivate their worth.
you'll gain knowledge at every rung,
and every place you turn.
/maybe the strongest sentence in here.
Don't climb the (rungs) of life to fast,
leavning friends behind.
//strong echo with the previous rung. find a syn.
lean hard upon His grace.
//strong voice here.. nice.
When this day is just a memory,
still lessons (will) lay ahead.
//will lay is redundant. just
lay ahead
and whether they are rich or poor,
all those who do will win.
//im with you all the way on the message.. the writing could be more vivid though. cliches ppl have heard a thousand times lack impact on the reader.
word choice could be cranked up a notch. no, not with fancy words.. just stronger ones.
good luck with it..
T |
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