Love Hiaku (my first ever hiaku - be gentle lol)
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Poetry >> Love Hiaku (my first ever hiaku - be gentle lol)
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Love Hiaku (my first ever hiaku - be gentle lol)
Love, it is music
Trapped in your slow heart beat,
You're my favourite song.
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Comment by: Louise Online- 2008-02-24 07:44
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| Lol im afraid that when it comes to Favourite I say it with an Irish accent which makes it come out as "Fave - rit." I was considering writing the dialect version of favourite in to make it work but then I thot that it may not make sense since the rest of the hiaku isn't written in dialect. |
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This is delicious. I like slooow...
I did have two thoughts, though.
1) How many silly-baubbles in favorite? You, no doubt, say it with an accent. (You even spell it with an accent!)
2) Written, this comes in through the eyes, although the references are aural. I "look" for images in a haiku, but that needn't be a rule.
You are my favorite song. That's tender and youthful. |
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Comment by: sickSAM - 2008-02-22 11:12
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this is a beautiful poem. it makes me want to slow dance!
(if we want to get technical, the second line is missing a syllable.) 5-7-5 |
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