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Finishing Touch Wee Challenge # 27
After Grama’s disapproval of Carole’s ice cream cake last year, it was up to me.
I read every book to find the perfect design, went to the West Indian store to get all the ingredients.
Hours passed by in the store. Everything must be right for Grama.
A beautiful royal iced cake sat in front of me. Now for the finishing touch.
“Twenty five!”
“Yes,there were no seven candles in the store.”
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Comment by: karjon - 2008-02-27 12:36
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I really like the opening line - captures Grama's personality and sway over the family very well.
The only thing that tripped me was 'there were no seven candles...' then I realised you meant a candle in the shape of the number seven, in which case, I think you need to make it 'seven'.
Nice story, thanks for the read.
Cheers
Karen |
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Comment by: Cherley - 2008-02-25 07:35
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| It sure was too bad about the candles. |
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Comment by: lancslass Online- 2008-02-24 17:17
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| A nice idea, Violet. Grama's are like that. It's a long time since I saw a royal iced cake. Mmm! Pitty about the candles, haha. :) |
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I read every book to find the perfect design,
//good..
(went) to the West Indian store to (get) all the ingredients
//might find better words for those in a thesaurus. no, i dont mean fancy words.
Hours (went) doing the shopping.
//you can definitely do better with like 1 minute of work on that weak word. and it echoes with the first went.
thesaurus.com
thanks,
T |
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