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poeticverse119
Claudia M
United States, NY

Words: 71
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Crash

Crash
Go ahead and take the pills
Hours later, fast paced, crash. Jitters body rush
Crash
Go ahead walk fast, run.
Seconds later, crash into me.
Crash
Go ahead swerve to the right, ramp up ahead.
Moments later, crash into it.
Crash
Pressure against the rocks.
The cycle of water, crash against the shore.
A substance, a pace, a moving object, a grain of sand.
As we are we all crash.

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Comments  
jonny Comment by: jonny Online- 2008-11-18 14:20
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I like the wat this could be a story about waves, or bastard assed drivers or meth heads. Nice. That's the poetry thing.
poeticverse119 Comment by: poeticverse119 - 2008-02-25 18:18
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To respond to Danny Barracuda, You would be right in assuming the poem goes beyond a crash... it is a bit deeper than that. Thanks for noticing. All the feedback is very much appreciated! :)
DannyBarracuda Comment by: DannyBarracuda - 2008-02-25 00:22
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i have a feeling this is going beyond a crash, its about something else? seems that way : ) good job.
untoldstoriesx3 Comment by: untoldstoriesx3 - 2008-02-24 22:56
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i like the fact that you tied all these things together because they all crash, and you describe each one briefly. good job :)
Brandi Lei Comment by: Brandi Lei - 2008-02-24 21:43
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your poem has a fast pace to it, but it suits it, b/c of course it is about 'crashing' which is always fast not always forseen...i liked it.
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