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Still thinking
deborshi brahmachari
India, Delhi

Words: 26
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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the life cycle

I eat, I drink
I play, I think
I wonder
I ponder
I lose, I booze
I suffer, I bruise
I cease
I fade
I win

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Comments  
prolificsantu Comment by: prolificsantu - 2008-09-03 20:42
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IT IS GREAT MAN! such bold words. it reminded me of an incident of my life. boozeing like you could say hell, i strolled out with a philosopher type friend. sitting on a knoll which faced kathmandu, we called names to people relatives, challanged the authority as drunkards generally do, in fact did what he called, "scolding Kathmandu". "I have always wanted to scold ktm standing on this knoll," he had said. after an hour while we were still scolding he stood up abruptly and walked saying "We are incomplete yaar." and i trialed him muttering the same.
I eat, I drink
I play, I think
I wonder
I ponder
I lose, I booze
I suffer, I bruise
I cease
I fade
I win
perhaps it was what we felt. perhas you came to victory and we to incompetence. very very good write.
Still thinking Comment by: Still thinking - 2008-08-28 21:48
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Thanks Sarah..have made a small change..hope you like it
OhSarah Comment by: OhSarah - 2008-08-28 09:12
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"I loose" doesn't make sense.

If it's a life cycle of emotions shouldn't the more fragile verbs be at the beginning, getting stronger and then fading out?

Nice idea though.
lornawelsh Comment by: lornawelsh - 2008-02-27 06:11
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Simple but effective i like the pared downess of this less is actually more
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