 |
 |
 |
| |
the life cycle
I eat, I drink
I play, I think
I wonder
I ponder
I lose, I booze
I suffer, I bruise
I cease
I fade
I win
Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
IT IS GREAT MAN! such bold words. it reminded me of an incident of my life. boozeing like you could say hell, i strolled out with a philosopher type friend. sitting on a knoll which faced kathmandu, we called names to people relatives, challanged the authority as drunkards generally do, in fact did what he called, "scolding Kathmandu". "I have always wanted to scold ktm standing on this knoll," he had said. after an hour while we were still scolding he stood up abruptly and walked saying "We are incomplete yaar." and i trialed him muttering the same.
I eat, I drink
I play, I think
I wonder
I ponder
I lose, I booze
I suffer, I bruise
I cease
I fade
I win
perhaps it was what we felt. perhas you came to victory and we to incompetence. very very good write. |
|
|
| Thanks Sarah..have made a small change..hope you like it |
 |
Comment by: OhSarah - 2008-08-28 09:12
|
|
"I loose" doesn't make sense.
If it's a life cycle of emotions shouldn't the more fragile verbs be at the beginning, getting stronger and then fading out?
Nice idea though. |
|
|
| Simple but effective i like the pared downess of this less is actually more |
| 1 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|